The Times They Are a-Changin'

Apparently, I have always been kind of an overachiever. My mom told me that once, when I was a toddler, I refused to get out of the car for an hour until I had successfully tied my own shoes. And I remember that in third grade, because I was having such a hard time with cursive writing, I locked myself in my room and didn’t come out until I had written out an entire book in acceptable cursive.

And for what? A few short years after I nailed shoe tying, velcro became all the rage.

And now I hear that many elementary schools have stopped teaching cursive writing, claiming that it has become obsolete.

I’m not going to get all nostalgic about cursive. I’m left-handed. It was never really going to work. But its omission from the curriculum is making me think about what’s next on the chopping block.

With the advent of the calculator, is there still any point in teaching long division?

With the FDA’s decision to ease the restrictions on the lap band, will we still need PE.?

And what do you think about proper grammar? It already seems to be reinforced less and less in schools. Will it dwindle away until the spelling of a word is subjective? Will the semi-colon be dusted off and hung in a natural history museum? Or will there be a grammar renaissance?

Don’t be afraid to tell me what you really think. I’ll be okay either way. If need be, I’ll figure out something else to do with my life. I’ve always kind of wanted to be a truck driver. Or maybe I’ll catch a bus down to Zihuatanejo and see what Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman are up to.

All I ask is that Heads Up Seven Up remains a classroom fixture.