Dress to Impress

This post is dedicated to Ms. Vance's English class.

(Pic from gofugyourself.com)
The night my husband and I met, it was a warm summer’s evening. We were at the same party at a beautiful hotel on the coast. I arrived before my husband, and I was standing out on the balcony, champagne in hand, admiring the sunset. As my husband recalls it, when he walked into the party, he looked out on the balcony and couldn’t believe his eyes: there stood this girl whose skirt was totally see through.

First impressions really are key. There were hundreds of other eligible women there to attract the attention of a hot, Aussie man, but not all of their polka-dotted panties were on display. (In my defense, I didn’t know my skirt was see through. I swear!)

See how important it is to stand out? I am not telling you this so that you all go out and buy transparent clothing; I am telling you this because first impressions are also key when you write essays. You want to capture your audience’s attention right away so that they want more.

That is why introductory paragraphs are so important. If you have written a good introduction, then you’ve already got the reader on your side, and more importantly, it makes them want to read on.

So why is writing introductory paragraphs so hard? Why do we sit in front of the computer for hours staring at a blank screen cursing Ms. Vance for making us write these stupid research essays?

I have a theory: because we try to write out introductory paragraphs before we have actually figured out what we are writing about.

First you need your thesis; then you can introduce it. I’m going to say that again: THESIS FIRST. Don’t even try writing an introductory paragraph if you don’t know your thesis yet. How can you introduce your essay if you don’t even know what it’s about yet?

However, once we’ve got our thesis statement, introductions are lots of fun. That’s right- fun. We just have to challenge ourselves to think of a creative way to introduce it.

Let’s say our topic is Facebook and our thesis is:

Facebook has become the most effective way to promote a business.

How can we introduce this in a way that will grab the reader’s attention?

What a lot of students tend to do is start with stating the obvious, such as:

In today’s society, many businesses use Facebook.

First of all, BORING. And second of all, never start an essay with “In today’s society…” Trust me. It’s way too overdone and makes us teachers want to bang our head on our desk.

Maybe we can start with something not everyone knows. Something a little sexy. How about this startling fact I found on Google:

In 2008, a 23-year-old woman created a Facebook group titled “I Need Sex.” Ten minutes later, she had 35 followers. She soon attracted 100—50 of whom she eventually slept with.

If we start with this fact, we can explain how, by using Facebook instead of writing an ad in the personals, this woman achieved much more immediate and far-reaching results. We can then tie it into businesses by explaining that businesses should do the same to reach more people faster, eventually making our way to our thesis.

Or we can start with a question. But we don’t want to start with a lame question, such as:

Have you ever been on Facebook?

That’s like asking, “Have you ever blinked your eyes?”

Everyone has been on Facebook. My mom is on Facebook. Your mom is on Facebook. So, let’s ask a more exciting question like:

Have you ever stayed up all night stalking your ex on Facebook?

Then we can tie it into our thesis by explaining how we used to stay up all night and watch TV, but today more and more of us have traded watching Friends reruns for finding out what’s going on with our Facebook friends. So instead of putting money toward expensive TV ads, perhaps businesses should explore free online options, such as Facebook. And we can work our way to our thesis from there.

Any other tips out there for Ms. Vance’s English class to help them write attention-grabbing introductory paragraphs?


References:

“50 Interesting . . .Facebook Facts.” Random Facts. 11 March 2011. .

"I Don't Know You, But I Want You..."

A couple of nights ago, my husband and I went to a concert at the Hollywood Bowl that featured three boy/girl bands: The Bird and the Bee, She and Him (Zooey Deschanel’s band), and The Swell Season. The Bird and the Bee and She and Him were good, but as one review of the concert said, “The first few opening bars of The Swell Season's set made it clear that the children had been put to bed, and the adults had come out to party.”

The Swell Season were absolutely amazing. Both Glen and Marketa are crazy talented, but there is just something about Glen Hansard that is so engaging. He plays his music with such raw emotion, yet at the same time he is funny and warm. He is generous with the audience and with his band members. I could have watched him all night.

Yes, I am now officially in love with him.

And I guess it’s no wonder. We have so much in common. He opened the set with Tim Buckley’s “Buzzin’ Fly” interspersed with a verse of Jeff Buckley’s “Grace,” which shows that we share the same taste in music and that he adopts one of my favorite methods of introductions: using somebody else’s words.

Introduction paragraphs are perhaps one of the main causes of writer’s block. It can be so hard to get started with that first word. One way I teach my students to avoid this kind of writer’s block is to start with a quote. Not only does starting with a quote cheat writer’s block; it may also be fun for our readers because they may recognize the quote or the quoter. It’s also a show of generosity because it’s like paying a tribute.

However, when we start our introduction paragraph with a quote, we need to make sure it’s appropriate. Glen aptly started with Jeff Buckley- another raw, emotionally charged musician. It would have been jarring if he started with Ke$ha.

We also need to make sure that we don’t just lazily tack a quote on the beginning and then forget to follow through with its line of thinking. Here’s an example of a quote that’s kind of just tacked on:

“He who hears music,” said Robert Browning, “feels his solitude peopled at once.” I went to The Swell Season concert last night.

Here’s an example of drawing from the quote:

“He who hears music,” said Robert Browning, “feels his solitude peopled at once.” At last night’s The Swell Season concert, as soon as Glen Hansard walked on stage strumming his guitar, my lonely soul felt full.

It’s okay. My husband knows. After the concert, he’s kind of in love with him too.