Are You an Apostrofreak?

Where do the apostrophes go in the following sentences?

1. What do you think of Biebers new hairdo?
After the s in Biebers.
Before the s in Biebers.
Silly Wabbit, there's no apostrophe.
Are we STILL talking about his hair?




2. Taylor Swift bought her parents a $1.4 million dollar home.
Before the s in parents.
After the s in parents.
Who are you trying to fool? There's no apostrophe.
I hope my mom doesn't read this; she's just getting flowers for Mother's Day.




3. I just read that David Arquettes high sex drive was a problem in his and Courtney Coxs marriage.
After the s in Arquettes.
Before the s in Arquettes and before the s in Coxs.
No apostrophe here, my friend. (Get it? Friend? As in Friends? Never mind.)
Is it wrong that I want to make Cox jokes?




4. Have you heard Britney Spears new album?
Oops, I meant Britney Spears' new album.
Oops...I did it again; I meant Britney Spears's new album.
Baby, I'll hit you with this one more time: either Spears' or Spears's is correct.
Whatever.




5. I heard the Olsen twins empire is worth over one billion dollars.
Apostrophe before the s in twins.
Apostrophe before the s in dollars.
Apostrophe after the s in twins.
Since there are two of them, it's really only $500,000,000 each.

Do You Have Sexy Grammar Confidence?

I’m an extremely introspective woman. I never stop trying to understand more about myself: I talk to my friends, I write in a diary, and I read self-help books. But, the one thing that has probably been the most instrumental in my acquisition of self-knowledge is the Cosmpolitan magazine quizzes. Just yesterday I learned whether or not I am way too good for him (turns out no), whether I am an over-sharer or mysterious (an over-sharer), and if can I keep a guy intrigued (well, intrigued is a strong word). I'm so excited; I'm just about to take the Do You Have Sexy Confidence quiz.

Confidence is so sexy, isn't it? And, what is sexier than the confidence of knowing just how to insert the apostrophe or the right spot to stick that comma? So, let's take this Cosmopolitan magazine-inspired quiz together to discover our level of sexy grammar confidence.

1. When you're in bed with a new guy how do you communicate what gets you off?
A. Moan and hope he gets it (and change the you’re to your).
B. Telepathy (and take one of the m’s out of communicate).
C. Tell him pronto (and add a comma after guy).

2. On a coed ski trip, everyones hopping into the Jacuzzi- including the chick with the jaw-dropping Halle Berry bod. You:
A. Hang by the hot tub fully-clothed (and lowercase Jacuzzi).
B. Proudly sport a string bikini (and take away the comma after trip).
C. Feel a little daunted but wear a suit you know you look good in (and add an apostrophe in everyones).

3. At a wedding, you spot a groomsman, you'd love to get to know him (screw the cake). You:
A. Freeze up (and remove the comma from after wedding)
B. Goose him on the dance floor (and remove the apostrophe from you’d).
C. Try to make eye contact with him (and change the comma after groomsman to a semi-colon).

4. Great news: your a celeb who's going to be featured in the next issue of Cosmo! In your ideal photo shoot, you'd be:
A. Wearing jeans and a sparkly tank (and change the your to you’re).
B. In a Paris Hilton style dress cut down to your belly button (and change the who’s to whose).
C. Mega-airbrushed (and take the comma away after shoot).

5. At the movies, you and your guy run into a chick he’s dated before they begin chatting. You:
A. Wait silently while they yak away (and take the comma away after movies).
B. Try to get in on the convo (and insert a period after before and cringe that you just said the word convo).
C. Shoot her an icy look, give him a big kiss, and say you'll be in the car (and add a period after the word chick).

Answer Key:

1. C
Make sure he understands your needs immediately (why waste your time?). And, don't forget the comma after guy. You've got an introductory phrase to get, I mean set, off.

2. C
You may have thought that the best way to show off your grammar prowess is to lowercase the word Jacuzzi, but Jacuzzi is actually the name of the company that makes the spas, so it must be capitalized. What you really need to do is add an apostrophe in everyone's because you, my friend, have got yourself two words that have become one. Isn't that romantic?

3. C
We may not know what it means to "goose" someone on the dance floor, but we do know that we can't put a comma between two complete sentences.

4. A
Congratulations on rejecting the dress version of this:

and for choosing the correct you're.

5. B
This is a very confusing sentence to be in. The best thing you can do to alleviate that confusion is add a period after the word before. See? Isn't that better? You no longer have a run-on sentence. And now that you're in the "convo," throw in a back-handed compliment like, "You're so much thinner than Bob said."

Congratulations! You've got sexy grammar confidence that will attract Mr. Right!