tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-53301902267644957662024-03-17T01:26:28.812-07:00Missed Periods and Other Grammar ScaresMissed Periodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10343265071637032284noreply@blogger.comBlogger267125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5330190226764495766.post-2259065945962425642015-03-04T11:29:00.000-08:002015-03-04T11:30:01.130-08:00Speaking of Missed Periods<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PTV77sZ-Sow/VPdc42Lra6I/AAAAAAAACVw/M0Zh9Ao7pKc/s1600/IMG_0971.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PTV77sZ-Sow/VPdc42Lra6I/AAAAAAAACVw/M0Zh9Ao7pKc/s1600/IMG_0971.JPG" height="320" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Courier;">I don’t want to make
excuses. Actually, that’s not true; I totally want to make excuses. And here
they are:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Courier;">I haven’t posted anything
on this blog for ages and ages, and it’s not my fault.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t mention this earlier, but I had a
baby—and it’s totally her fault I haven’t had time to post. I know they say
babies are super easy and not time consuming at all, but I must have had a dud!
My baby demands all this time and attention, and she’s so darn cute that I’ve
been spending my time staring at her little face. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Courier;">It’s not all the baby’s
fault, though. I also have to blame Amazon Prime. I just signed up, and that
made me have to binge watch <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Transparent </i>and<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> Mozart in the Jungle</i>, and now I am
totally addicted to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Downton Abbey. </i>I’ve
been watching so much <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Downton </i>that my
inner monologue is in a British accent. At least I sound smarter and more
cultured to myself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Courier;">However, today is National
Grammar Day, and dammit Grammar, I just can’t quit you! Also, I miss all my
blogging friends. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Courier;">Since I have nothing
meaningful to contribute to the grammar world today, I’d like to recommend a
great book on writing and grammar: Steven Pinker’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Sense of Style. </i>It’s fantastic.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier;">Have a wonderful National
Grammar Day! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Missed Periodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10343265071637032284noreply@blogger.com92tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5330190226764495766.post-10136984443092139482014-07-15T21:48:00.000-07:002014-07-15T21:48:16.183-07:00My New Soulmate<br />
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CjhsqZDRFUs/U8YBg2mavrI/AAAAAAAACUk/JFN3fubPFWI/s1600/Kyle-cassidy-weird-al-yankovic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CjhsqZDRFUs/U8YBg2mavrI/AAAAAAAACUk/JFN3fubPFWI/s1600/Kyle-cassidy-weird-al-yankovic.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">The way to a man's heart is reportedly through his stomach. The way to my heart is apparently through clever songs about grammar. A friend just alerted me to "Weird Al" Yankovic's new song "Word Crimes," and all of a sudden Johnny Depp, Bradley Cooper and Clive Owen mean nothing to me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">"Weird Al," call me! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I'll make you dinner.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/8Gv0H-vPoDc" width="560"></iframe>Missed Periodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10343265071637032284noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5330190226764495766.post-64136499902076569242014-03-17T15:46:00.001-07:002014-04-07T16:14:05.314-07:00Commas ... Whatever<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGdGSiLKAdmp6iO7pKHtq5rmMtlxP4YZk6dsX-cChUzVZaEx1Lt5BhlXNkQB6HlKOhxH-A2ovojOHSrUe0USDQMKa9e3EoeH-J7a7PXO6-aoy1D7ZJJPNpiSMlTPB7z7QcAMVcpmVohCJp/s1600/whatever.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGdGSiLKAdmp6iO7pKHtq5rmMtlxP4YZk6dsX-cChUzVZaEx1Lt5BhlXNkQB6HlKOhxH-A2ovojOHSrUe0USDQMKa9e3EoeH-J7a7PXO6-aoy1D7ZJJPNpiSMlTPB7z7QcAMVcpmVohCJp/s1600/whatever.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">You guys sure know your grammar errors! </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Commas <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">are</i> the number
one grammar-related error literary agents encounter. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Does that mean that you should all log onto Amazon, buy the
best grammar book in the world (i.e., <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Missed
Periods and Other Grammar Scares</i>), and study Chapter 5.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Yes and no. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">You should all totally buy the book, but don’t bother reading
Chapter 5.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It turns out that literary agents don’t care that much about
commas. Here are quotes from three different agents:</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“The improper use of the comma is
probably the most common error I see. But commas are also one of the most
complicated pieces of grammar, so this is often very forgivable.” </span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Commas seem to confound many young
writers. I’m fairly flexible in the use of commas. Because comma rules can be
confusing and arbitrary, I am less critical of comma errors than other types of
errors.” </span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“If you don’t know how to use
commas, you’re better off underusing them than overusing them.”<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Well, guess what, literary agents, I don’t care about plot or
character development or tone or style! So there!</span></div>
Missed Periodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10343265071637032284noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5330190226764495766.post-61762160273225087702014-03-01T12:59:00.003-08:002014-03-01T12:59:51.953-08:00My Romantic Side<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Missed Periodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10343265071637032284noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5330190226764495766.post-81470420485234526752014-01-28T13:55:00.001-08:002014-01-28T13:55:21.932-08:00I'm Not That Kind of Girl<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_Rl7vteJXXI/Uuc_YT9jwbI/AAAAAAAACTA/dD3BzGIHC0Q/s1600/fanny.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_Rl7vteJXXI/Uuc_YT9jwbI/AAAAAAAACTA/dD3BzGIHC0Q/s1600/fanny.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I think about fanny packs a lot. They're genius, right? A fanny pack would be perfect for one of
those nights at the bar that seems like it’s going to be totally chill, but then everyone
has a little too much to drink and there’s really good music playing on the
jukebox and all of a sudden it turns into an awesome dance party. You want to
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I feel like I should get over myself and get one. I mean,
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In a similar vein, I won’t use emoticons. The longer they’re
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I</i> use instead of
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I thought I was the inventor of using the punctuation mark for
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am not happy about the sentence I just concluded.’”</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Is punctuation as tone setter a new trend? Does that question mark I just used simply indicate that I just wrote an interrogative sentence, or does it mean that the sentence reveals that I am emotionally confused? If I use a comma, does that mean that I'm feeling hesitant?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What tone does a semicolon convey?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
Missed Periodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10343265071637032284noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5330190226764495766.post-34817382580010058302014-01-09T16:29:00.002-08:002014-01-09T16:31:37.656-08:00Crime against Grammar<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5gG6DsnQFMsj3DsObnU2cweXBBMZQ4BiAKiTrUl_VDRajVU2-QiTE4mFWUACEdAhTcm5wpK_m5torOnKr18Gfcm4wy1Gm1oSBrRzUo7ZxDdeN6Ql08cCkuRqd9YOQ0p-a5ntVYPZBI8ow/s1600/acc+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5gG6DsnQFMsj3DsObnU2cweXBBMZQ4BiAKiTrUl_VDRajVU2-QiTE4mFWUACEdAhTcm5wpK_m5torOnKr18Gfcm4wy1Gm1oSBrRzUo7ZxDdeN6Ql08cCkuRqd9YOQ0p-a5ntVYPZBI8ow/s1600/acc+2.jpg" height="200" width="150" /></a><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BB4X3zBunxk/Us898oK8diI/AAAAAAAACS0/r4o8k5-QzXI/s1600/acc+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BB4X3zBunxk/Us898oK8diI/AAAAAAAACS0/r4o8k5-QzXI/s1600/acc+3.jpg" height="200" width="150" /></a><br />
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<br />
<br />Missed Periodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10343265071637032284noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5330190226764495766.post-5252561450056759632013-12-31T13:35:00.000-08:002014-01-09T16:44:38.811-08:00My New Year's Resolution<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9HgNbAFfSBA/UsM4QNpU9fI/AAAAAAAACSU/IzVEr0zc5VY/s1600/new+Year.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9HgNbAFfSBA/UsM4QNpU9fI/AAAAAAAACSU/IzVEr0zc5VY/s1600/new+Year.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When we think of New Year celebrations, we think of champagne and
kissing and resolutions and Times Square and that horrible movie from 2011
that starred everyone famous. </span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Okay, that was uncalled for. I have never even seen that movie. I
just assume it was horrible because … I don’t even know why. Ugh! Why am I
being so negative? </span><br />
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I think I’m a little sensitive today because we associate the New
Year with so many wonderful things, but we often forget about the poor apostrophe.
I’ve been noticing lately that many people are leaving the apostrophe out when
they write <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">New Year’s Eve</i> and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">New Year’s resolutions</i>. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And maybe I’m scared that with every year the apostrophe will
become more and more obsolete. Remember that article from earlier this year
that argued that the apostrophe was unnecessary? </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">So this year, I am going to make a New Year’s resolution in an
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I resolve to be a lot more possessive. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
Missed Periodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10343265071637032284noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5330190226764495766.post-62443194076431654412013-12-17T18:12:00.000-08:002013-12-17T18:12:19.925-08:00Nuts!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-JYU0GImj0zM/UrEEFi5D87I/AAAAAAAACR4/VuAoJSV6FN0/s1600/800px-Nutcracker_ballet.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="251" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-JYU0GImj0zM/UrEEFi5D87I/AAAAAAAACR4/VuAoJSV6FN0/s400/800px-Nutcracker_ballet.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">A lot is happening in the world of grammar lately. My friends
have been emailing me really interesting grammar articles. Unfortunately, you
will not get to learn any of the interesting grammar news in this post, and
that is because I just graded an essay that contained a typo that has had me
laughing like Beavis and Butthead for the past ten minutes. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here it is: </span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">It
was considered sac religion.</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Now, all I can think about is sac religion. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I’ve come up with some of the commandments: </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Thou shalt not listen to Tchaikovsky.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Help me. I need ten.</span></div>
Missed Periodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10343265071637032284noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5330190226764495766.post-51870084744464502392013-12-04T16:44:00.002-08:002013-12-04T16:44:51.848-08:00This Is Some Highbrow Sh*t <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3VPL-hAsuAZP8DpxceKkhqQSP58nOxR1t6dRESAvJstJnC_YNa88P_SxHnMGmxhYbvCsRNCe3cdDey5Zh5TdIh0-SSR1A4Rb3ZhzF56k1mYa45eIhKUVrFvWD0xlDKYKOibNKQCaq7E2M/s1600/toilet.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="145" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3VPL-hAsuAZP8DpxceKkhqQSP58nOxR1t6dRESAvJstJnC_YNa88P_SxHnMGmxhYbvCsRNCe3cdDey5Zh5TdIh0-SSR1A4Rb3ZhzF56k1mYa45eIhKUVrFvWD0xlDKYKOibNKQCaq7E2M/s200/toilet.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">This toilet automatically lifts its lid when you approach. When you're finished, it gently blasts your bottom with warm water and proceeds to air dry your tush. It also self-flushes, self-cleans and deodorizes the air. And if you have $5,000 lying around, you should totally buy it for someone for Christmas. But if you don't have $5,000 lying around<span style="color: blue;"> but</span> you want to get your loved ones something bathroom related but highbrow, you should buy them this book: </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"> </span><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZbI_RBjgAfo/Up_JH8Q_mpI/AAAAAAAACRg/nxUwOIRcNKw/s1600/poop.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZbI_RBjgAfo/Up_JH8Q_mpI/AAAAAAAACRg/nxUwOIRcNKw/s320/poop.jpg" width="210" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">A handful of my friends have contributed to this anthology, and these friends are crazy talented writers. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">So here is the <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Code-Brown-Humorous-True-Life-Tales/dp/1494268779/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1385741689&sr=8-1&keywords=code+brown+tales+about+poop">link</a> if you want to read some really good shit! </span></div>
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Missed Periodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10343265071637032284noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5330190226764495766.post-77422190970954454182013-11-21T16:53:00.000-08:002014-01-09T16:45:01.784-08:00Say No to Drug<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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time. And guess what happened? She died of an overdose. That’s right … she
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> Stay away from "drug"! </span></div>
Missed Periodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10343265071637032284noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5330190226764495766.post-89240311797613745752013-11-13T09:29:00.003-08:002013-11-13T09:29:58.129-08:00PUNKtuation Marks<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">My second grammar cartoon!</span></div>
Missed Periodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10343265071637032284noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5330190226764495766.post-31695951894600597292013-11-07T15:22:00.000-08:002013-11-07T19:07:09.222-08:00Whose Day Is It?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What are you guys doing on Monday? I know what I am NOT doing. I
am not going to the bank, receiving mail or going to work. But why? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">A.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Am I celebrating a day that belongs to only one
veteran?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">B.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Am I celebrating a day that belongs to more than one
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<br /></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Mcu811Y5xlg/UnwfkMHkniI/AAAAAAAACQY/hNH4f-U6PpU/s1600/veterans%27.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Mcu811Y5xlg/UnwfkMHkniI/AAAAAAAACQY/hNH4f-U6PpU/s1600/veterans'.jpg" /> </a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">C.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Am I celebrating a day that doesn’t technically “belong”
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1SELJLM6MIQ/UnwffUtooYI/AAAAAAAACQI/cD-gY12VLbk/s1600/veterans.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1SELJLM6MIQ/UnwffUtooYI/AAAAAAAACQI/cD-gY12VLbk/s1600/veterans.jpg" /> </a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">According to a government website, the answer is C. And this is
why: </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Veterans Day does not include an apostrophe but does include an
‘s’ at the end of ‘veterans’ because it is not a day that ‘belongs’ to
veterans, it is a day for honoring all veterans.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I like the government’s explanation. I believe the country should
honor all its veterans. (I also believe there should be a semicolon between “veterans”
and “it is” instead of a comma.) </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">However, now all I can think about is that apostrophe in Saint Valentine’s Day. Anyone know where I can get a name change form? And how I can become a saint?</span>
</div>
Missed Periodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10343265071637032284noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5330190226764495766.post-73946169084180106642013-10-31T16:58:00.000-07:002013-10-31T16:58:04.718-07:00Twerk or Treat<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-u09rtfx73ZY/UnLnxPV2bWI/AAAAAAAACPI/hyeWGlPHxhc/s1600/Miley-Cyrus-Twerkin-Teddy-Spirit-Costume1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-u09rtfx73ZY/UnLnxPV2bWI/AAAAAAAACPI/hyeWGlPHxhc/s320/Miley-Cyrus-Twerkin-Teddy-Spirit-Costume1.jpg" width="189" /></a><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">I can't tell you how disappointed I was when I heard this morning on the radio that the most popular Halloween costume this year is predicted to be the Twerking Miley Cyrus. "Great!" I thought to myself. "Now what am I going to go as?".</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">I didn't want to dress like everyone else, so I put away my hot pants and tongue extension. Then, I racked my brain: what am I good at besides twerking? It finally came to me--grammar!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">So here are some grammar costumes I came up with.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">I could go as the Present Perfect:</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-if4Mvt9QFtY/UnLrRSKxIGI/AAAAAAAACPU/BZ-NMlI1Nnk/s1600/gift.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-if4Mvt9QFtY/UnLrRSKxIGI/AAAAAAAACPU/BZ-NMlI1Nnk/s320/gift.jpg" width="134" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"> Or a Tense:</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Xj0bIr-qPpE/UnLsG4Uxs2I/AAAAAAAACPs/L56n6DqGDt8/s1600/tense.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Xj0bIr-qPpE/UnLsG4Uxs2I/AAAAAAAACPs/L56n6DqGDt8/s1600/tense.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Or a Relative Clause:</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dqfvdJC3Xn8/UnLtLqYiY1I/AAAAAAAACP4/7UOu7Pbj7zM/s1600/santa.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="273" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dqfvdJC3Xn8/UnLtLqYiY1I/AAAAAAAACP4/7UOu7Pbj7zM/s320/santa.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Or I guess if I wanted to be a little more risque and go for the slutty costume, I could go as a comma. That little hussy will punctuate almost anything!</span>Missed Periodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10343265071637032284noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5330190226764495766.post-27225275562148545252013-10-22T18:56:00.004-07:002013-10-22T19:05:25.577-07:00Should I Keep My Day Job?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-40xah9tJBsQ/Umcsm1fPQRI/AAAAAAAACOk/6K6EqqNqZdE/s1600/comma.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="283" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-40xah9tJBsQ/Umcsm1fPQRI/AAAAAAAACOk/6K6EqqNqZdE/s400/comma.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">My first grammar cartoon!</span></div>
Missed Periodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10343265071637032284noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5330190226764495766.post-37156892125768525642013-10-10T14:29:00.002-07:002014-01-09T16:45:42.465-08:00Should It Stay or Should It Go?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-floKpzVxnNw/Ulcb2e9fJZI/AAAAAAAACOE/svKzkA3wVsE/s1600/goss.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-floKpzVxnNw/Ulcb2e9fJZI/AAAAAAAACOE/svKzkA3wVsE/s1600/goss.jpg" /></a><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I think the person I relate most to these days is Kate Gosselin.
No, I don’t have an ex-husband who suffered an Ed Hardy addiction, nor do I have
a brood of children, but if it’s true what they say about childbirth—that women
forget about the intensity of the pain and keep having more—then we have
something in common. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">If you read my last post, you know that I just moved—and that I absolutely
hate moving. (I know, shocking!) However, I thought about it and realized that
I have moved over a dozen times in the past ten years. Hence, the Kate connection:
I must keep forgetting about the pain.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">At least you can’t say I don’t embrace change, right? I bring
that up because I was listening to NPR the other day, and Matthew J.X. Malady,
a writer for <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Slate</i>, proposed a change
I am not on board with, and I don’t want you to think it’s simply because I
fear change.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The change is regarding the apostrophe. He believes it’s unnecessary.
He said that it’s becoming a trend to leave apostrophes out, and as the
language evolves, the apostrophe will go the way of Jon Gosselin’s career. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And I get it: I don’t need the apostrophe to identify the
words <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">cant </i>and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">dont</i>. But what about the following sentence: </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Well be
there on time.</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Well</span></i><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> could be
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Well, be
there on time.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I guess we could probably rely on the context of the
conversation to discern the meaning, but then there’s the whole issue with
possessives. Without the apostrophe, we don’t know if we’re dealing with
singular or plural possession. If we leave the apostrophe out of the following
sentence, the meaning is ambiguous: </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It was his <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">kids</b> idea to stage an Ed Hardy intervention.</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Without the apostrophe, we don’t know if it was only one of the
kid’s idea to stage the intervention or all of the kids’ idea.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What do you think about the survival of the apostrophe?</span></div>
Missed Periodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10343265071637032284noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5330190226764495766.post-40697240997478011632013-09-30T21:27:00.001-07:002013-09-30T21:27:32.843-07:00If You Hate Grammar ...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dG8ssl1ubF4/UkpM36tDSkI/AAAAAAAACNo/iVzO0BvJMQU/s1600/sys.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dG8ssl1ubF4/UkpM36tDSkI/AAAAAAAACNo/iVzO0BvJMQU/s1600/sys.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;">If you hate grammar, you should try moving. Moving is the worst. It sucks! Moving </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">heavy, awkward mattresses in and out of a U-Haul for eternity would be my Sisyphean version of hell. </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Why am I telling you this? Because I want sympathy for moving for over twelve hours today? Yes. But also because I will be without Wi-Fi until we get all that stuff sorted, so I won't be able to post and visit blogs for a week or so. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">I'll miss you!</span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></span>Missed Periodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10343265071637032284noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5330190226764495766.post-74158605314998000632013-09-21T15:57:00.001-07:002013-09-22T11:39:39.500-07:00Matters of Size<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-psyGdSkYbGY/Uj4kJ30mqjI/AAAAAAAACNY/yxts18gKVZQ/s1600/Obama.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-psyGdSkYbGY/Uj4kJ30mqjI/AAAAAAAACNY/yxts18gKVZQ/s320/Obama.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I just finished posting a couch on Craigslist. So if
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I’m kidding. I’m kidding. I would not use my grammar blog to try
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I bring up my Craigslist experience merely as a way to share
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As I mentioned, I was posting the sofa set, and, since I like to
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Who has a way to remember that feet are represented by one
apostrophe?</span></div>
Missed Periodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10343265071637032284noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5330190226764495766.post-72133327537397417702013-09-14T14:18:00.002-07:002013-09-14T14:18:48.867-07:00Wet Water<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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birthday and this was a GIFT—and there was no way <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I</i> was going to pay for my birthday gift. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Gifts, by definition, are free! That’s why they’re awesome! </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And that’s why offers like this, that we see all the time, are
redundant: </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2Eevohpfq6zCpvc57UDH-aKO-YOCZsEysZByFcpRkClaehZYmCZjaCQTo9_A7ePnShBNPP5m_Xs4eyWpHL5nWbdzQYhSRAcIX-guFhEigfljV2P8LDC-vKzWm2zU4RL7fJonA3jZy5ObD/s1600/free+gift.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2Eevohpfq6zCpvc57UDH-aKO-YOCZsEysZByFcpRkClaehZYmCZjaCQTo9_A7ePnShBNPP5m_Xs4eyWpHL5nWbdzQYhSRAcIX-guFhEigfljV2P8LDC-vKzWm2zU4RL7fJonA3jZy5ObD/s1600/free+gift.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It’s like saying “wet water” or “famous celebrity” or “male
chauvinist pig.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(I don’t know about you, but every pig I’ve ever met has been a
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When we’re writing, we want to proofread for redundancies like
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">One of the most common redundant phrases I see in my students’
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This can be cut down to “The reason I ______ is ______.” </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Another one that cracks me up is when sentences start with “As
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Or am I out of the loop? Have aliens penetrated our atmosphere? </span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">That might explain Miley Cyrus’ abnormally long tongue. </span>
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<br /></div>
Missed Periodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10343265071637032284noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5330190226764495766.post-55079354714097515872013-09-05T16:08:00.000-07:002013-09-05T16:08:09.467-07:00Same on the Outside<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-A5JiK6rlBsw/UikJWbNl1DI/AAAAAAAACMM/B5j0PmkIQhM/s1600/twins.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-A5JiK6rlBsw/UikJWbNl1DI/AAAAAAAACMM/B5j0PmkIQhM/s320/twins.jpg" width="232" /></a><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I bought a box of ice cream sandwiches at the market today. Don’t
judge me; it’s hot out. Plus, I was swayed by the fact that the box contained two
different sandwich flavors: chocolate and vanilla. And if you don’t know
this about me, I like a little variety when it comes to my desserts. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Like my ice cream sandwiches, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">then</i> and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">than</i> are the
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">TH N</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It’s the inside that really makes them different.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In general,
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And if there’s an <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">e </i>on
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Back <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">then</i>, I could eat ten chocolate ice
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></span><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"></span><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And now that we’ve got that straight, we can all enjoy this:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-nbXdqIqbPT4/UikGBgP3pNI/AAAAAAAACMA/6pkAWdtD0eU/s1600/then.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="252" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-nbXdqIqbPT4/UikGBgP3pNI/AAAAAAAACMA/6pkAWdtD0eU/s320/then.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">However, if I absolutely had to choose between cuddling and sex, and it was with the twins in the picture above, I know which <span style="color: blue;">activity</span> I'd rather do <i>than</i> the other. And so no one would feel left out, I'd do it with one twin <i>then</i> the other. </span></div>
Missed Periodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10343265071637032284noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5330190226764495766.post-43944024356796958322013-08-24T15:19:00.000-07:002013-08-29T09:19:45.981-07:00Literally is the New Figuratively<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Missed Periodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10343265071637032284noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5330190226764495766.post-13677208801394645702013-08-15T12:52:00.000-07:002013-08-15T12:52:07.133-07:00The C Word<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Missed Periodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10343265071637032284noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5330190226764495766.post-35962738773121827542013-08-03T09:04:00.000-07:002013-08-03T09:04:01.496-07:00My Own Private Hell<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Did you hear about the guy in Florida who woke up with amnesia
and spoke only Swedish? A similar thing happened to me last week. I don’t think
it was amnesia, but a foreign language did spontaneously flow from my mouth:
Starbucksish.<br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">If we do create our own versions of heaven, mine would be a
coffee shop with great coffee and the perfect atmosphere. Therefore, Starbucks—with
its mediocre coffee and corporate feel—is pretty much my version of hell. Of
course, I am a total hypocrite and go there all the time because it’s two seconds
from my house, but since my first visit, I have staged my own little rebellion:
I refuse to speak their language. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">However, the other day I walked up to the counter and out popped
“can I please get a double tall soy latte” instead of my usual “can I get a
small latte with soy milk and an extra shot of espresso.” </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I have no idea what prompted this waving of the white flag.
Maybe I’m just getting too old for this shit. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Then yesterday, as I was waiting in line for a tall drip (which
sounds more like a guy I used to date than a coffee), I saw this: </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipqINZycyeC2GmoJ3awHLzVHr2MwxUC7mOQuNgydGuH6KNLzqVrSbdEzq_Af8HNIftj7NijipStxFt5IU9GNmsguMEwuw8yMYIH6AlmOo3D74mM-UX2LFqhe_6Bu2nEnscKjWL9LtQUMBN/s1600/Starbucks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipqINZycyeC2GmoJ3awHLzVHr2MwxUC7mOQuNgydGuH6KNLzqVrSbdEzq_Af8HNIftj7NijipStxFt5IU9GNmsguMEwuw8yMYIH6AlmOo3D74mM-UX2LFqhe_6Bu2nEnscKjWL9LtQUMBN/s1600/Starbucks.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Well, I recoMMEnd this:</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8bycDdmItsI/Uf0pU3tM4CI/AAAAAAAACLI/m8pShDTGXvY/s1600/Dictionary.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8bycDdmItsI/Uf0pU3tM4CI/AAAAAAAACLI/m8pShDTGXvY/s1600/Dictionary.jpg" height="320" width="239" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And I’ll take a small regular coffee, please.</span></div>
Missed Periodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10343265071637032284noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5330190226764495766.post-71842944279511507962013-07-25T16:17:00.000-07:002013-07-25T16:17:14.816-07:00Mr. Bo Dangles<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-YP8MDqu84ug/UfGxsTQdxYI/AAAAAAAACKw/qsS_T9XFYbg/s1600/DanglingMan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-YP8MDqu84ug/UfGxsTQdxYI/AAAAAAAACKw/qsS_T9XFYbg/s1600/DanglingMan.jpg" /></a><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Excuse me, Sir. I believe your participle is dangling.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Thank you so much. Having learned so much from you regarding
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Here you go …</span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MhkErb0K1kk/UfGuzGlH22I/AAAAAAAACKg/slem228WJMo/s1600/viagra1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MhkErb0K1kk/UfGuzGlH22I/AAAAAAAACKg/slem228WJMo/s1600/viagra1.jpg" height="176" width="200" /></a></div>
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Missed Periodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10343265071637032284noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5330190226764495766.post-66961406915519570372013-07-16T15:42:00.001-07:002013-07-16T15:43:00.923-07:00The Most Interesting Man in the World<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Missed Periodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10343265071637032284noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5330190226764495766.post-89964436913288453772013-06-26T16:18:00.003-07:002013-06-26T16:18:50.229-07:00I Don't Think That Means What You Think It Means<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-w4-EnV8g8b0/Uct2jpPlXdI/AAAAAAAACKA/_TdLq0MZ2fc/s1600/inconceivable2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-w4-EnV8g8b0/Uct2jpPlXdI/AAAAAAAACKA/_TdLq0MZ2fc/s1600/inconceivable2.jpg" /></a><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I love to do crossword puzzles, but I avoid the Friday <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">New York Times</i> puzzle. There’s no point.
At most, I’ll get two. Do <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">you </i>know
the Volstead Act opponents?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I love to watch TV, but I avoid the remote controls. I already
know that whichever button I press will not produce a screen filled with Don
Draper, Roger, and Peggy; it will produce either a blank blue screen or static.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And I love to write, but I avoid using the term “beg the
question.” I don’t know exactly what “beg the question” means, but I do know that
it doesn’t mean what I think it should mean.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It seems like it should mean “raises the question.” </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">For example: </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">She doesn’t
know how to use TV remote controls. That begs the question: how does she watch
TV?</span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(Answer: “Honey,
can you come here a sec? I have an emergency!”)</span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">But it doesn’t mean that. According to Wikipedia, begging the
question is “a type of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Informal_fallacy" title="Informal fallacy"><span style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">informal fallacy</span></a> in which an implicit <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Premise" title="Premise"><span style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">premise</span></a>
would directly entail the conclusion. Begging the question is one of the
classic <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Informal_fallacy" title="Informal fallacy"><span style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">informal fallacies</span></a> in <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aristotle" title="Aristotle"><span style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Aristotle</span></a>'s
<i><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prior_Analytics" title="Prior Analytics"><span style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Prior Analytics</span></a></i>. Some modern authors
consider begging the question to be a species of <i>circulus in probando</i> (<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latin" title="Latin"><span style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Latin</span></a>, "circle in
proving") or <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Circular_reasoning" title="Circular reasoning"><span style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">circular reasoning</span></a>. Were it not begging the
question, the missing premise would render the argument viciously circular, and
while never persuasive, arguments of the form ‘A therefore A’ are <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Validity" title="Validity"><span style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">logically
valid</span></a> because asserting the premise while denying the self-same
conclusion is a direct <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Law_of_noncontradiction" title="Law of noncontradiction"><span style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">contradiction</span></a>.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Now do you see why I avoid it? </span>
</div>
Missed Periodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10343265071637032284noreply@blogger.com13