Tuesday, December 31, 2013

My New Year's Resolution

When we think of New Year celebrations, we think of champagne and kissing and resolutions and Times Square and that horrible movie from 2011 that starred everyone famous. 

Okay, that was uncalled for. I have never even seen that movie. I just assume it was horrible because … I don’t even know why. Ugh! Why am I being so negative? 

I think I’m a little sensitive today because we associate the New Year with so many wonderful things, but we often forget about the poor apostrophe. I’ve been noticing lately that many people are leaving the apostrophe out when they write New Year’s Eve and New Year’s resolutions

And maybe I’m scared that with every year the apostrophe will become more and more obsolete. Remember that article from earlier this year that argued that the apostrophe was unnecessary?

So this year, I am going to make a New Year’s resolution in an effort to honor the apostrophe: 

I resolve to be a lot more possessive.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013



A lot is happening in the world of grammar lately. My friends have been emailing me really interesting grammar articles. Unfortunately, you will not get to learn any of the interesting grammar news in this post, and that is because I just graded an essay that contained a typo that has had me laughing like Beavis and Butthead for the past ten minutes.  Here it is: 

It was considered sac religion.

Now, all I can think about is sac religion. 

I’ve come up with some of the commandments: 

1. Thou shalt not kick.
2. Thou shalt not enter cold water.
3. Thou shalt not wear blue.
4. Thou shalt not listen to Tchaikovsky.

Help me. I need ten.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

This Is Some Highbrow Sh*t

This toilet automatically lifts its lid when you approach. When you're finished, it gently blasts your bottom with warm water and proceeds to air dry your tush. It also self-flushes, self-cleans and deodorizes the air. And if you have $5,000 lying around, you should totally buy it for someone for Christmas. But if you don't have $5,000 lying around but you want to get your loved ones something bathroom related but highbrow, you should buy them this book: 


A handful of my friends have contributed to this anthology, and these friends are crazy talented writers. 

So here is the link if you want to read some really good shit!