Monday, February 7, 2011

It's a Conspiracy

I always appreciate it when someone holds the door open for me as I am about to enter an establishment. However, let’s say I walk up to Starbucks and nobody opens the door for me. Does that mean I am going to wait there until somebody comes along to open it for me? Am I going to turn around and go home? No. I am going to open the door myself.

This is why I can never quite accept “But my iPhone always does it for me” as a legitimate excuse when I point out to my students that their words are missing apostrophes.

The iPhone is like that mother who does everything for her son so when he does finally move out he doesn’t even know how to boil water.

The iPhone adds our apostrophes, it fixes our spelling errors, it distracts us from work and studying with all of its super cool apps. And why? Out of the kindness of its own heart? I don’t think so. I have this theory.

Have you heard of IBM's Watson? It’s expected to be the world’s most advanced question answering machine. They’ve already tested it by pitting it against human contestants in Jeopardy and, although it doesn't get every answer correct, it defeated its two opponents, winning $18,400 to their $12,000 each.

I think that all technology is working together to make humans dumber so that Watson will actually beat Ken Jennings’ Jeopardy record.

Then, who knows what those computers will get up to once they’ve got their hands on all that money. They’ll probably stage a “moon landing" or go hang out with Elvis and Tupac.

16 comments:

The Shanner of Attention said...

And sometimes technology corrects me when I want to spell something wrong.

I did mean to text "my butt looks huuuuuuuge", thank you very much.

Jeffrey Beesler said...

Yes, technology does seem to have that dumbing down effect on peeplez. I really can't stand it when people are so lazy as to write "2" instead of to, too, or two, or "U" instead of "you". Ugh!

Kelly said...

Agreed.

Meg O. said...

Yes, the iPhone does a whole lot for us, but autocorrect can also be a terrible thing! Case in point: damnyouautocorrect.com

PREACH IT, SISTER!

JEFritz said...

Agreed. People should stop relying on technology to save them if they screw up or eventually, it will get to the point where no one can program the machines because they all rely on one to do it for them.

Bethany Elizabeth said...

I don't know about this... I mean, I'm all for learning correct grammar, but I don't think there's any reason to be afraid of technology just yet. In the end, we're all responsible for our own knowledge, aren't we? I don't think it'll change. :)
But it would drive me crazy if I had students who didn't know how to use apostrophes. *sigh* :)

Hart Johnson said...

You need to send your students HERE:

http://damnyouautocorrect.com/category/best-of-dyac/

to show them just how badly wrong the iPhone can serve them (though i give you warning. That site will suck you in and not let you go--I typically end up CRYING I am laughing so hard.

Ricky said...

Not another staged Moon landing !

Cold As Heaven said...

Good that someone teach proper grammar and punctuation. I love the semicolon >:)

Cold As Heaven

chrischaos said...

deff a conspiracy!@!


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Christopher said...

I was a terrible speller until spell check came out. That squiggly red line got me to work on my spelling in a way that no teacher ever could.

WritingNut said...

Oh yes.. I definitely hear you on this... we've become very dependent on technology.

Theresa Milstein said...

Let me get this right.

First, they blame texting for not capitalizing. Now they blame iPhones for not adding apostrophes. Technology is becoming the mothers that do too much for their children.

Watson sounds like HAL in 2001.

Stephanie Faris said...

As someone who does quite a bit of typing on my iPhone, I can say the iPhone doesn't correct everything. We all need the basic knowledge to make sure the iPhone/Word spell correct are correcting things correctly.

Mary Aalgaard said...

AKA - always proof your own words and don't rely on a dumb machine! Great post.

Holly Vance said...

I am having my students look at this post FOR SURE! I couldn't have said it better!

(Did I get all my apostrophes right? I'm typing without a net--aka iPhone.