Cut to a few years later. I’m in some office waiting room and I’m flipping through a Cosmopolitan magazine. It should be called COsmOpOlitan magazine. I not only learned the definition of orgasm, I learned the sexual positions I should be doing to best achieve one and how to have multiple ones. I was mortified. I wasn’t really worried about the other kids in my fifth grade class because they probably didn’t know what one was at the time either. All I could think about was Mr. Wilcox and how, when I said “single-celled orgasm," he must have been stifling his laughter. I imagined that he went home and told Mrs. Wilcox and that I would forever be known in the Wilcox household as the single-celled orgasm girl. He would probably write about it in his memoir.
Well, I’ve realized over the years that I shouldn’t have been that worried. Apparently, saying orgasm instead of organism is a pretty common error. I’ve heard a bunch of other people admit to making the same error.
It always softens the blow a little bit when I find out that I am not the only one who has made a mistake, which might explain why I did what I did yesterday. I can’t believe I am even telling anyone, but, you know, blog content before dignity.
Yesterday, as I was writing something, I blanked out: I couldn’t remember if it was desparate with an a or desperate with an e?
So, I looked it up and realized it was desperate, with an e.
But, that wasn’t all I did. After that, I Googled “most commonly misspelled words” hoping to find that I wasn’t the only one who made this error.
Well, it was not on the list.
But I did come up with a trick so that I will never have to go through that humiliation again. I will use Desperate Housewives to remember to use an e instead of an a because Eva Longoria is in Desperate Housewives and her name starts with an E.
You can use that trick if you want to, but you probably won’t have to since I am apparently the only person in the world who can’t spell desperate.
However, if anyone out there wants to share their misspellings, I could really use the support.