Thursday, August 12, 2010

Let Me At Least Have a Piece

Apostrophes by Mitch Hedberg:

Contractions:
"I saw a lady on T.V. She was born without arms. Literally, she was born with her hands attached to her shoulders... and that was sad, but then they said, "Lola does not know the meaning of the word 'can't.'" And that to me was kinda worse... in a way... ya know? Not only does she not have arms, but she doesn't understand simple contractions. It's very simple, Lola, you just take two words, you put them together, then you take out the middle letter, you put a comma in there and you raise it up!"

Possessives:
"I get the Reese's candy bar. If you read that name Reese's that's an apostrophe s. Reese-apostrophe-s, on the end of that name. That means the candy bar is his. I didn't know that! Next time you're eating a Reese's candy bar and a guy name Reese comes by and says, 'Let me have that,'you'd better hand it over.' I'm sorry, Reese, I didn't think I'd ever run into you! You're a fuckin' bully, man! Let me at least have a piece!'"

First this:


And now this:


Some girls have all the luck.

7 comments:

Bethany Elizabeth said...

Those quotes sound suspiciously like Mitch Hedberg. :D

kathryn said...

Yum....and....YUM.

Do you find yourself getting annoyed when you see these kinds of errors? Are you able to just flip a switch and turn it off??

You're like the word police...

Boonsong said...

Interesting post, good lesson, and 'a photo for everyone of every persausion'.

Re, "Lola does not know the meaning of the word 'can't' " - This bugs me. Why do the able bodied insist that disability doesn't disable? So Lola can fly can she.... Sounds to me like someone's in denial, and it ain't Lola.

Disabled people are demeaned by the able bodied constantly insisting that they're 'otherwise enabled' or some similar shit.
End of rant.

Have a nice day, Boonsong

Theresa Milstein said...

Reese gets my favorite chocolate but not my favorite guy, so I can forgive her. I'll make due with Lindt truffles. Or should I say, Lindt's Truffles?

Mary Aalgaard said...

The great thing about a Reese's peanut butter cup is that it is so easy to share. Send me a Reese, and I'll share!

PS: Letters to Juliet is very sweet. A nice escape into the countryside of Italy. The romance unfolds predictably, of course, but sometimes that's okay when you have beautiful things to look at. It's a movie that you could take your pre-teen daughter to, and not cringe.

notesfromnadir said...

Tell that guy to keep his shirt on while I'm eating my Reese's peanut butter cup.

But I've seen some strange examples of contractions & worse, people get confused when having to spell apostrophe, let alone put it in the right place!

Meg O. said...

You know, now that you point this out, how have I not noticed the apostrophe in Reese's?!?!?! My eyes are opened. THANK YOU!