I also kind of enjoy living in my past. It’s fun to spend hours replaying the fight in my head that Heather and I got into in the seventh grade when I found out she called me a wannabe behind my back. My thirty-five-year-old comebacks are so much better than my twelve-year-old comebacks: "There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about" versus “I know you are but what am I.” (Granted, I plagiarized my thirty-five-year-old comeback from Oscar Wilde, but Heather has no idea—she’s only twelve.)
The fact that I reside mostly in the future and the past makes me a then kind of person.
(Future) Once I am relaxing on my lanai with my glowing skin, then I will be happy.
(Past) Back then, I was reading Sweet Valley High, not Oscar Wilde.
But, now that I think about it, I’m also kind of a than person. I constantly compare myself to others:
I hope my life turned out better than Heather's.
Are you a then or a than? Or both?
Or are you the frickin’ Dalai Lama?