Why Oh Why?

Last year, a company polled five thousand Brits about the things that confused them the most. They came up with a list of the top fifty things. These are my favorites:

1. What women see in Russell Brand

First of all, are women that into Russell Brand? Is he a sex symbol? I mean, he was hilarious in Forgetting Sarah Marshall and I know that Katy Perry is into him, but she also got into this outfit:

So, I'm not convinced she speaks for all women.

2. Why Cheryl Cole is still with Ashley

I’ll admit that I was excited about this one because I thought this was a lesbian scandal, but it’s not. Ashley, like in Gone with the Wind, is a dude. According to Wikipedia, Ashley’s a famous footballer who is married to Cheryl Cole, a member of the British girl band Girls Aloud. Apparently, he cheated on her with a waitress and a model, and Cheryl decided not to leave him. It’s basically the equivalent of asking why is Elin still with Tiger (if she decides not to leave him).

3. Football's offside rule

By football, I am assuming they mean soccer, and if even the Brits don’t understand the rules of their national sport, I don’t feel so stupid that I have had it explained to me a million times and I still don’t get it.

4. Donnie Darko

I now feel comfortable admitting this: the only part of the movie that didn’t go over my head was that Jake Gyllenhaal is hot.

5. Men

No explanation necessary.

And, here are some that I would like to add to the list:

1. How to convert Celsius to Fahrenheit

Or better yet, can’t we just choose one of them?

2. Why Sofia Coppola was cast in Godfather 3

Not that I'm blaming Sofia.

3. The word apart

There are two versions: a part and apart. The definition of apart is “into pieces,” “separately,” “disassembled.” So, why did we choose the version that’s together (apart) to refer to the one that means broken into pieces, separate, disassembled?

In other confusing word news, a parkway is a road where parking is not allowed, whereas a driveway is intended for parking. And herpetology is not the study of herpes.

What would you add to the list of confusing things?