Better Than Nothing

If you’re not going to do it right, don’t do it at all.

Those are words I definitely do not live by.

When I vacuum, I don’t move couches. I rarely leave the conditioner in my hair for the prescribed time. I don’t chew my food thirty-two times.

But, you know, I do clean the house, wash my hair and eat, so I think it’s better than nothing.

Better than nothing, that’s my philosophy.

Well, another thing that most of us don’t do right is respond to statements like this:

Drinking one glass of red wine a night is supposedly good for the heart, but I never do.

If we didn’t drink one glass of red wine a night either, the right response would be

Nor do I.

But, we rarely speak so formally. My response, for example, would be

Me neither; I usually drink three.

The question that has come up is whether we say me neither or me either.

Well, both are technically wrong, but if you feel too formal writing nor do I, then me neither is the lesser of the two evils.

Speaking of the lesser of two evils, that’s another philosophy I live by:

At least I didn’t buy two pairs of new shoes.
I ate the smaller piece of cheesecake.
I could have worn low cut and short.