How Can Something So Right Feel So Wrong?

I know he's not heralded as the most gifted actor, and I know that I should watch award winning movies like Precious and The Blind Side instead of wathing Point Break again, but I just cannot quit Keanu Reeves. Look at that punim!

The universe must have a sick sense of humor because it seems like all the things we crave the most are really the worst for us. Yet, on the other hand, sometimes the things that are the best for us just feel so wrong. I mean, doesn't it seem like a crazy idea to pay someone to stick needles into your body, yet people swear by acupuncture. I've read repeatedly that drinking your own urine is good for the immune system. Bottoms up! And, although it feels wrong every time I say it, sometimes it's correct to use the word whom instead of who.

Doesn't whom just feel wrong? Every time I say it, I feel like an asshole, like I'm being pretentious. But, if all things that sounded pretentious were irrelevant, I guess Kanye West would be out of a job.

So, how do we know when to use who and when to use whom?

In order to figure this out, we have to engage in some crazy behavior: we have to talk to ourselves.

Here’s an example of a conversation I have with myself in order to tell whether to use who or whom:

Me: Do you know _____ Rachel Evan Wood is engaged to?
Me: She is engaged to him.
Me: Cool, now I know that I should use whom.

Wait. I’m not as crazy as I sound. The trick to knowing when to use who and whom is that if the person in question is a he or she we use who; if the person in question is a him or her, we use whom.

Here’s another conversation:

Me: Did you ever find out _____ was kissing Ryan Phillipe ?
Me: She was kissing Ryan.
Me: Thanks Me, now I know that I should use who.

Let’s do a couple more:

Me: Speaking of kissing, _____ did George Michael kiss?
Me: George kissed him.
Me: Okay, I’ll use whom.

And, lastly,

Me: ____ is maybe pregnant?
Me: She is.
Me: Okay, I’ll use who.

Now that I’ve made my point, I guess instead of sitting on my butt, drinking coffee and reading all this fun celebrity gossip, I should go for a jog, pick up the Wall Street Journal and a shot of wheat grass.

Actually, I think I’d rather drink my own urine.