Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Stop Reading. Pass It On.

I believe that reading books is the best way to improve our grammar, punctuation, spelling, and vocabulary. My theory is based on the fact that when I returned home from living in Australia I was walking around for a week saying, “Bloody hell!” In other words, I believe we tend to automatically recreate what we’re exposed to. So it makes sense that if we repeatedly expose ourselves to good writing, we will subconsciously absorb such things as proper spelling and comma placement.

So I implore you to please stop reading books. And if you catch your friends reading a book or the guy next to you on the train reading his Kindle, please rip the reading material out of their hands and throw it away. Encourage them to spend more time on Facebook, or better yet, have them watch Jersey Shore marathons.

That way, late this year, when the Missed Periods and Other Grammar Scares book is scheduled to come out, the nation will be in a grammar crisis and I will sell billions and billions of copies!

What I am trying to tell you is that I got a publishing deal!

I am new to this whole publishing thing, but what I do know is that the publisher said they were aiming for a fall release, that I have a million revisions to do, and that I am super excited.

Thank you all for reading this blog and giving me the confidence in my grammar vision to turn it into a book.

Now stop reading this, and start reading Snooki’s Twitter feed.

27 comments:

traci's mixed bag said...

I think even if there's no impending grammar crisis, your book will do great. There are people like me, no matter how many books I read, I still need help. I don't need Snooki's bad influence.

JDC said...

I used to live in Australia too, how about that where were you? I lived in queensland then sydney before my family moved to NZ.

Shannon said...

GYM TAN LAUNDRY!!! (Isn't that from Jersey Shore? I haven't seen it.)

Shelly said...

Oh, my 8th graders will love this assignment!

Rachael said...

This month-old foster baby is working hard to keep me from reading (and also sleeping and eating). Challenge accepted!

the late phoenix said...

on most youtube channel pages these days, under "books:", you get either a "books?" "i hate reading" or an emoticon snicker of some sort. thankfully, i was part of the last generation before the current internet explosion where reading and holding the spine of a good ol' musty book still mattered. *kisses his book collection*

don't worry, beavis and butt-head have already taken care of snooki

Tere Kirkland said...

Congrats! That's amazing news!

Great plan, btw. ;) I vow to stop reading and forget how to spell. I don't even know what a participle is. (no, really)

Best of luck with your revisions!

cestlavie22 said...

So excited for you! I will absolutely be purchasing your book! Good luck and have fun with it!!

Crystal Pistol said...

Congrats!! I'm so happy for you! The year is starting with a bang for Missed Periods. :)

What about the Kardashians? Would that work? I admit to watching that disaster. I can't look away...

Terra Shield said...

Awesome. Congratulations :)

Deniz Bevan said...

I was wondering what you meant by stop reading :-)
Congratulations!!

Glynis said...

Massive congratulations. LOL, I will tell the world to stop reading until your release!

Mykuljay said...

What wonderful news - to be a published author! I am pleased and proud of you. I hope I can get an autographed copy. Really I do! I don't watch anything you mentioned I'm afraid and to go months without reading anything - for you I just might. I STILL am awaiting the official word from you Prof' on the usage of my favorite punctuation mark - the hyphen! If you don't tell me I swear I'll start reading again. :-)

Mark said...

It's an ingenious plan that just may work! Congratulations on the publishing deal too though :)

zabuzar said...

your theory might be 140% true.
I know people why cant use grammar for their lives. and i also know they read next to no books in their lives

Alex Rowe said...

I agree, literacy, good command of diction, and proper grammar are highly overrated. I mean, lol stp redding bokz lol.

Stephen T. McCarthy said...

WAH-HOO! I can leave comments here again. Thanks for making that change. Glad to be back!

Now, as I tried to say before that big bug swallowed my voice:

A-list congratulations on the book deal! Let me know when it's available in real flesh 'n' blood form (i.e., on paper between two covers) and I will buy a copy. BUT!... I expect to find my question answered therein.

Do you even remember what my question was? Protly not!...

It had to do with when and when not to capitalize directions (North, South, East, West), and when and when not to capitalize planets (e.g., Earth, Sun, Moon, etc.)

As far as my ceasing to read is concerned... nuttin' to worry 'bout there! I stopped reading circa 1965. The last book I read was 'Green Eggs And Ham'. (Never even quite got to the end of it. Still waiting for the movie to come out.)

~ D-FensDogg
'Loyal American Underground'

Nas Dean said...

Congrats! So happy for you...now I'm off to check out your book!

Christie Wright Wild said...

CONGRATULATIONS!!! I'm so excited for you. Are you going to get to keep the title of your blog as the title of your book? I hope so; it's a cool title for your book. "Stop reading." What a great hook for your blog post too.

In your book, I hope you address parentheses. (Like when to use a period or exclamation point inside the parentheses.) And like when not to (at the end of a sentence). And what about this one (this is so exciting!)?

Mary Aalgaard, Play off the Page said...

I am SO HAPPY for you. I think your book will be the most entertaining grammar book ever printed.

Jo-Ann said...

I dont need no help with,my grammer nor nothing like what your talking about so im not never going to ever like buy it and my freinds wont neither!!!!

Ok, I'll stop before my brain implodes. Seriously, that's great news, girl. Congratulations. Love the blog, will love the book too I'm sure. And in case you miss Australianese: Bloody beauty, mate!

Liz said...

Congrats!!!

DWei said...

Congrats on your publishing deal! That's awesome.

Naina Gupta said...

Congratulations! That's fantastic!

Theresa Milstein said...

CONGRATULATIONS! I already recommend your blog. When your book is coming out, please add me to your blog tour. I'll buy a book for myself + all the grammerly challenged people I know.

Theresa Milstein said...

Feel free to use "grammerly" in your book.

Invisible Work said...

Congrats, Jenny! I'm SO excited. You have sold another copy here! (And I might buy a few more as gifts for those people who will not get offended.) :)