I just read that Lady Gaga’s fear of the supernatural cost her almost fifty grand on a "state of the art" electro-magnetic field meter that can detect ghosts. Fifty grand! With a teacher’s salary, she’d be able to get away with some sage (from Ralphs, not Wholefoods) and maybe a nightlight.
And did you hear what Tim Gunn wrote about Anna Wintour, the Vogue editor? Apparently, she had her bodyguards carry her down a flight of stairs because she was wearing uncomfortable Manolos and didn’t want to take the elevator. I could probably afford a pair of Manolos- if they were the only shoes I bought for the whole year. But, if they got uncomfortable, I couldn’t afford a Bubba to guard me from the impending bunions.
Maybe I am so down-to-earth that no matter how much money I had I would never do such crazy things, but who knows? Money is said to do crazy things to people. Just think- all that money might take my grammar obsession to a whole new level.
I might, for example, hire some minions to capitalize the J's and lowercase the B's on all of jetBlue's planes:
Who do they think they are parading their irresponsible capitalization from LAX to JFK?
I'd probably also hire a team of techies to erase all of Rachel Zoe's misuses of "literally" before I watch the next season of the Rachel Zoe Project. It figuratively drives me crazy.
Or, better yet, I might just hire a troupe to literally act out all of the things that Rachel Zoe says literally occur. For example, it would be kind of cool to experience how one can literally feel like a cow about to moo. Is it similar to the feeling a goat experiences before it's about to bleat? And, I have never seen a person literally pull a dress out of her ass. That should be fun.
I might even try to convince Dave Chappelle to sell me his reversible white panda, bald eagle coat.
What would you do?