Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Um...This Is Awkward

There’s really nothing more awkward than asking a woman when she’s due and finding out that she’s not even pregnant. It’s also uncomfortable when you ask someone how their job is going only to find out that they have been laid off or when you ask about someone’s significant other to find out that they have just broken up.

That’s why I am really nervous about meeting Pamela Anderson. I mean, I have no “plans” to meet her, but I do live L.A. adjacent, so you never know. (I did just see Reese Witherspoon.) If I ran into Pam today, I honestly wouldn’t know whether or not to ask her, “How’s Tommy?”

Those two have broken up and gotten back together so many times it’s nearly impossible to keep up. Just when I think she’s with Kid Rock, I find out that she and Tommy Lee are back together. It’s confusing.

It’s almost as confusing as the on-again, off-again relationship between every and day.

Sometimes every and day are together: everyday
And sometimes they are apart: every day

Here’s how I remember the difference:

Everyday means daily, ordinary, commonplace.

It’s an everyday occurrence to see Will and Jada together.

Since it’s commonplace to see stable couples together, when every and day are together in one word, it means commonplace.

Every day, on the other hand, means each separate day.

We can remember that by telling ourselves that when every and day are separate, it means we are talking about separate days.

Every day is a different story with Pamela and Tommy.

So, to be safe, when I run into Pam, I just won’t say anything about Tommy. If she wants to talk about it, she can bring it up. And to further avoid any awkwardness, I’ll have to remember not to bring up Dancing with the Stars and Barb Wire.


j.m. neeb said...

Great post. I learned. I laughed. I cried. It was awesome.

My favorite part? The fact that Tommy Lee has a shirt which helps people identify his ethnicity. That is just super helpful! What a delightful young man. :)

[No, I'm not an octogenarian woman... I just speak their language, you whipper-snappers.]

Wendy Ramer said...

Love this. I frequently see people misuse "everyday" when they mean to say "every day". Another grammatical way to view it is to remember "everyday" is an adjective while "every day" is a frequency adverb (like often, usually, always, etc). Your explanation will certainly appeal to the non-grammarians out there, but to those of us who think in those terms, this is also helpful ;-)

Janet Johnson said...

Great post! Very funny. Too hard to keep up, but might as well use it for our benefit, right? :)

KAZ said...

"It’s also uncomfortable when you ask someone how their job is going only to find out that they have been laid off"

I had that happen to me once. A waitress asked me. In Sydney Australia.

Great blog, just found it. Will be coming back often!

Bethany Elizabeth said...

Ha, I love this post! Cute tie in with the celebrities, it made me laugh. :)

No One Reads The Copy said...

I was just talking about this yesterday!! Too funny. My explanation, alas, was not as funny or clever as yours. :)

James Garcia Jr said...

Great post. I love how you began. The entire time I was asking myself just where you were heading. Very funny and very useful information.

notesfromnadir said...

Barb Wire? Now that might strike a chord w/ her!

Wonderful way you illustrated the difference between everyday and every day! Thanks!