When I was little, I was in love with Tom Cruise and had his Teen Beat photos taped on my wall next to Kirk Cameron’s and Ricky Schroeder’s. Now, I’m not attracted to any of those guys. In my 20s, I was adamantly opposed to plastic surgery, but now I am warming up to the idea of maybe a little around the eyes in five to ten years. Because I’ve realized that my tastes and opinions change, I have difficulty answering questions like, “What’s your favorite color” or “If you could be any animal, which would it be?” However, there are a few things I can assert with confidence: I will always find Johnny Depp sexy, I will always feel like sushi for dinner and Zoolander is my favorite movie.
Zoolander is absolute genius. I get emotional just thinking about it. Shall we? Yes, I think we must:
Hansel: I wasn't like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere's a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that.
Hansel: So I'm rappelling down Mount Vesuvius when suddenly I slip, and I start to fall. Just falling, ahh ahh, I'll never forget the terror. When suddenly I realize "Holy shit, Hansel, haven't you been smoking Peyote for six straight days, and couldn't some of this maybe be in your head?"
Derek Zoolander: And?
Hansel: And it was. I was totally fine. I've never even been to Mount Vesuvius.
I could go on all day.
Did you hear they are making a Zoolander 2? Isn’t that great?
Yeah, I don’t know either. At first I was super excited, and then the reality set in. They have made such atrocious sequels to so many classic movies:
Of course, I’ll see Zoolander 2, and I am hopeful. But, right now I am leaning more toward it might be good than it may be good.
Many think might and may mean the same thing, but there is a difference- not as obvious as the differences between Blue Steel, Ferrari, Le Tigra and Magnum- but the difference exists. Both might and may suggest that there’s a possibility; however, might indicates that there’s less of a possibility than may does.
I will go see Zoolander 2.
It may have some funny parts.
It might be good.
It can’t possibly be as good as the original.