Monday, December 3, 2012

Give the Gift of Grammar

No, this is not a post that’s going to try to convince you to buy MY book as a holiday gift for all your friends and family. Why would you want to give a gift that will not only give the gift of laughter but also provide your loved ones with the writing skills they need to be successful in their careers, get promotions and raises, and end up millionaires (which will make them so grateful they will buy you lavish gifts for the rest of your life)?

That stupid, pointless gift is available here.

But that’s not what this post is about. 

This post is about another grammar resource, one that doesn’t compare spelling to orgasms or proofreading to foreplay. This is a wonderful grammar resource for kids. It’s called Grammaropolis.

As described on the Grammaropolis website
“Grammaropolis is where grammar lives! Hailed as a Schoolhouse Rock for the 21st Century, Grammaropolis uses the parts of speech as animated characters starring in books, songs, videos, and interactive games. Our innovative, classroom-proven approach blends character-based content with more traditional quiz-based assessment and is designed to address students' varied learning styles. Because the parts of speech are personified based on their roles in the sentence, the characterization provides students with a more effective way to visualize and internalize the roles of the parts of speech and to identify how a sentence is put together.”

The mayor of Grammaropolis sent me some books and a CD, and they’re great. I mean, it doesn’t get much better (i.e., nerdier) than driving around in my grammarmobile rocking out to “Noun Town” and “Lights! Camera! Action Verb!”

And now you have the chance to rock out to them too. In order to win one of the three copies that will be given away, all you have to do is answer this question: 

If you were mayor of Grammaropolis, what law would you pass?

There will be a drawing, and the winner will be announced next week.

My law would be that those who fail to capitalize the word “I” will have their iPhones, iMacs and iPods confiscated until they can prove they are free of Mac’s grammatically unsound influence.


Shelly said...

I will enthusiastically be looking at Grammaropolis. My only law that I would pass, anywhere, would only pertain to me. It would allow me to blow up cars (with no injury to the driver) blocking the passing lane. It has nothing to do with grammar, but would be delectably satisfying to me.

DiscConnected said...

My law would be to ban all public figures from television interviews when they misuse "myself."

This has been a pet peeve for me for a couple of years.


Stephen T. McCarthy said...

>>...If you were mayor of Grammaropolis, what law would you pass?

I’d pass a law stating that every person who says “I could care less”, when what they actually SHOULD have said was “I COULDN’T care less”, that person would be required to listen to me bitch ‘n’ moan about anything I felt like bitching and moaning about for 24 hours, or until I passed out, whichever came first (i.e., if they buy me lots of Jim Beam bourbon they might find their sentence somewhat shortened).

By the way, Jenny, I feel fairly confident in saying that one of the better reviews of your book, ‘MISSED PERIODS AND OTHER GRAMMAR SCARES’, has just been posted on the blog ‘Ferret-Faced Fascist Friends’. I won’t say who wrote the review (because I’m much too humble to boast about it), but you’ll find it by clicking on the review title, The Most Sex You Can Have While Improving Your Grammar.

Unfortunately, only seven (really intelligent) individuals read the ‘Ferret-Faced Fascist Friends’ blog, so ‘The Most Books You Can Sell As A Result Of That Sexy Review’ is seven. And that’s assuming ALL of the peeps will buy it.

Oh well, “A+” for effort, yes?

~ D-FensDogg
‘Loyal American Underground’

the late phoenix said...

i'm not sure what just happened, but i think i now know how a bill becomes a law...

i lowercase my i's, but it's a style thing, apparently i was ee cummings in a previous life. i'm thinking i'll give your book out to everyone i know as gifts, that'll clear my presents list fast so i'll have time to act in my community-theatre Nutcracker, y'know...there's that fruitcake to eat.

Jenny, Murry Crimbus/Other Holiday if i don't see you again...

ordinary malaysian said...

By the time you finished all the songs, games and whatnot, you would have forgotten why you got yourself into grammarpolis in the first place. My law would have been: thou shalt right as thy hart larks.

Kelly Polark said...

The first law should be that citizens who misuse the words your/you're will have to write 100 original sentences using those words correctly and either a $15 fine or buy your book. :)

Duncan D. Horne - the Kuantan blogger said...

You're a good seller!
Duncan In Kuantan

Carol Kilgore said...

I would pass a law that grammar should now be grammarg so that it becomes its own palindrome.

Oh. Who am I? Where am I? I think I've been overcome by eggnog and cookie fumes :)

anthony stemke said...

A good law would be thus: Whenever a recipe says to chop an onion, it should be followed by "finely", not fine (unless they want it coarsely). Or maybe: only that certain building in Washington, DC is spelled "capitol" no where else. Or... ...well that's enough.

My best to you.

Anonymous said...

The one law I would pass is that the word "alot" would be forbidden. You do not have "alittle" cake or "aton" of fun so why do you insist on skipping the space a lot?!?!

Theresa Milstein said...

If I were mayor, apostrophes in plurals would be punishable by one day in prison. That would end the practice pretty quickly!

I'm looking up this book for my daughter who's in fifth grade. She's too young for your book!

theater-goer said...

Mine would be that anyone mispronouncing the word "pundit" as "pundint" or "tenet" as "tenant" (and I actually heard both on two separate occasions on NPR and nearly pulled my subscription support) will have his or her tongue tied in a knot. Thanks for this, Jenny; the mayor will dedicate a monument to you, and it won't dangle.