House Bunny is one of the movies that you have to watch several times to fully grasp because it’s so highly nuanced, but the plot basically goes like this:
Anna Faris’s character, who is a Playboy Bunny, awakes on her 27th birthday to find a note by Hugh Hefner telling her she’s too old and she has to pack up and leave the mansion. She leaves immediately, and she ends up as house mother of a super nerdy sorority. Hilarity ensues. Then, it turns out Hef didn’t actually kick her out; it was a jealous Playboy Playmate who forged the note.
So let’s say you’re Ana Faris’s character on the morning of your 27th birthday, but instead of leaving the mansion, you want to convince Hef that even though you’re an over-the-hill 27-year-old you don’t deserve to be kicked out? What steps would you take?
I would make sure my hair was peroxided super blonde, and I would make sure that my head was the only place on my body with hair. I would obviously spray tan. And I would make sure to mention how I hate wearing panties.
My students, on the other hand, would dye their hair gray, let the bikini wax grow out, and talk about physics.
I say that because my students can be so clueless when trying to state their case.
After I post grades at the end of every quarter, I inevitably receive emails from students asking why they failed my class. And these emails are unfailingly the most grammatically disastrous emails I receive. Here are some examples:
hi jenny i had a few questions about my final grade
how did i end up with my final grade being an F?
I was kinda sad that i got a d, i thought i would get an B- or a C+, anyways im sure i deserved that grade but I thought I would get a good grade on the final so I was wondering if you clarify why.
i am very displeased with failing your class. An I don't agree with your assumption of failure. I would like to review this over in person with you and the director beacuse i don't feel i should have to repeat the course. Thank you and I look forward to speaking to you.
This never ceases to amaze me. I’m not particularly subtle about my enthusiasm for proper grammar. They know I am the crazy English teacher who drives a grammarmobile. If you are going to take the time to write one grammatically correct email, wouldn’t it be the one appealing to your English teacher to change your grade?
Can anyone explain this phenomenon?
It’s like telling Hugh Hefner he should reconsider kicking you out of the Playboy Mansion because you plan to put on twenty pounds and get a boob reduction.