Due to underfunded public schools and the fact that most teens curl up with an iPhone rather than a good book, many high school graduates don’t possess even the most basic writing skills. And as many of you know, a lot of these students end up in my college English class. Because I sincerely care about my students’ education, I carefully construct lesson plans to keep them engaged. I write extensive comments on their essays. I use a purple pen instead of a red one because I heard that red ink intimidates students. I stay after class to help. And now I am grading the final essay—the essay I urged them to take seriously and proofread over and over because it represents the progress they made over the quarter –and guess what? THEY’RE STILL MAKING STUPID, CARELESS ERRORS!
Several students aren’t capitalizing the word I. They are sticking their semicolons in more random places than Tiger Woods stuck his, um, golf ball. One student even wrote that she doesn’t judge people based on their “raise.”
OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!
To balance out the terrible essay writing, Talli Roland's wonderful writing is being released today. Buy a copy of Willow on Amazon UK for £1.71, or on Amazon.com for $2.99.
30 comments:
Oh, wow! It's no wonder you want to be the Red Queen. Off with their heads indeed. :)
I graded one not too long ago from a 7th grader. Not only did he have terrible spelling, he plagiarized from an old fairy tale.
He wrote, "He raped them all smartly on the butts", when the line he was trying to plagiarize was, "He rapped them all smartly on the butts."
I grades with purple and green pens when I taught too!
That new blog I started is to promote literacy. ( http://www.bookrecsthatrock.blogspot.com ) I figure these star obsessed teens (or adults) will see what their fave celebs are reading and maybe check the book out. These teens need to get off their iPods and do some reading for fun!
I do judge people based on their raise. Especially if their raise is better than mine. ;)
Oh, I can so relate. When I taught English Lit, it was all I could do to stop from smacking students and their txt spk. ARGH!
Great choice! Thank you so much for taking part!
Love it! You are SO the Red Queen! I'm sorry you have to suffer through students like that without offing someone's head. ;)
Thanks goodness for Talli! She's saving the world from morons one great book at a time.
I love your selection, by the way. How fun it would be to be the Red Queen in all her glory.
You know it took me far too long to figure out what "raise" she was talking about. I thought she was not judging people according to how much money they get--which I had to think, "She's a lot better than me in that regard." I'm a total reverse snob. But now I'm with the program.
Definitely off with their heads.
I love that you use a purple pen. It's so much kinder. (Not that they deserve it.) :)
Every time I read your blog posts I think you're talking about 4th graders. Then I remember your students are in college and I want to cry...
Great choice. And a purple pen is awesome. I used to dread seeing the red pen on anything I wrote at school!
How cool to have the power to say, "Off With There Heads." I mean, "Off With They're Heads." No, wait. I got it now. "Off With Them Thar' Heads." Ummmm .... "Off WIth Ther Heads?" Oh, whatever.
Awesome choice! Plus the outfit is fabulous. :)
I am a purple pen lover too. Great choice.
When my son leaves stuff lying around the house I make him come back into the room to dispose of it properly. This might even include returning to the kitchen to throw away a piece of paper on the counter next to the trash can, right next to where I'm standing. I fantasize that someday he'll figure out that it's easier to put things where they belong in the first place instead of having to return to the scene of the crime and do something I could have done much easier but refuse to do for him.
It would be wonderful if you could keep sending back papers to students until they've discovered and corrected all their mistakes, but it doesn't seem to work that way. Are they too lazy / spoiled / uninformed / incompetent / uninterested to explore how to correct writing errors? Why do so many students seem not to give a &%#; about the quality of their writing?
*stands and applauds*
*quickly takes trusty laptop over to teacher-wife to show her what you just posted*
-Jimmy
Hahaha! Nice slant on this :o)
How's this: I was exchanging emails with a friend of mine, who is a high school teacher, and he spelled "definitely" wrong. Not "typo" wrong. Just wrong. Off with his head.
Yeah so true!
Come check me out =) alphabetalife.blogspot.com
T-T Oh dear. I'm very sorry. Here I thought people not dropping the "e" before adding "ing" was bad...
Great choice! Off with their heads!
There is a tag in my post for you today.
Blogging about your students is probably the best sort of therapy. It's safe for you, them, & we get to laugh.
I'm with you!
I could've chosen Helen Bonham Carter. There aren't many actresses who could play the wife in the King's Speech, The Red Queen, and Bellaxtrix Lestrange.
Great Choice!
:( I'm sorry.
Haha great quote!
Haha..I love your post and your blog. I am a new follower.By the way. great choice. :)
Thanks for your ink-color sensitivity, MP. ;)
"D" is for Dictionary. It's also the grade your students deserve.
(I'm curious where the curve lies in a class like this.)
That is shocking. When you are in college, the stupid mistakes are supposed to stop. The common belief here is that people go to college/university for the student life, rather than the education.
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