Thursday, July 21, 2011

I'm Interested!

Now that I have an agent and am one step closer to publication, I have started to seriously contemplate my writing career. I have started to ask myself really important questions about my literary future, but none more important that this one: What am I going to wear when Jon Stewart interviews me on the Daily Show regarding my bestselling book?

Since Missed Periods and Other Grammar Scares is sure to spark an unprecedented grammar renaissance, I have been preparing for my worldwide media tour. The first thing I’ve done is purchased French language CDs. This was inspired by how incredibly sexy Bradley Cooper sounded when he gave this interview in fluent French while promoting Hangover 2. (Seriously, if you do nothing else today, watch it. It’s crazy sexy. I watched it last week and I’m still rattled.) Another thing I have been doing is paying more attention when I hear authors interviewed.

Yesterday morning, for example, I was listening to a radio interview on KROQ with Demetri Martin, a comedian who wrote a bestselling book called This Is a Book. From his interview, I picked up a successful sales technique: tug on the emotional heartstrings of the audience. When he revealed that not one member of his family owned his book, I wanted to go out and buy it immediately.

Terrible, right?

Even more terrible was when one of the interviewers asked, “Is your family just totally disinterested?”

Um, I don’t think that means what he thinks it means.

If his family was disinterested, it would mean that his family wouldn’t let the fact that Demetri was family influence how they felt about the book. Disinterested means unbiased.

Unfortunately, the fact that no one in Demitri’s family had the book meant that his family was uninterested, meaning they didn’t have any interest in the book.

I know that this won’t happen to me. I know for a fact that everyone in my family will own my book. And I know this because if it does get published (fingers crossed!) guess what everyone’s birthday present will be.

Au revoir!

Also, Rachael won the raffle from the last post. A copy of the best movie of all time, Zoolander, will be headed her way.



23 comments:

Rachael said...

Three things: 1. Bradley Cooper being fluent in French and extra-gorgeous while speaking it was like a birthday present to me from the universe. 2. I will be giving a copy of your book as birthday presents - sometimes to people who already appreciate grammar, and sometimes as a not-so-subtle hint. 3. I am the luckiest! I hereby swear that I will think of you when I watch Zoolander.

Shannon said...

Bradley Cooper...drool....


...wait, what was this post about?


(I kid. I was INTERESTED.)

Beverly Diehl said...

Have to admit, that photo of BC was what lured me in to read this post when I have so much else I should be doing. The only thing better than a gorgeous man is a gorgeous man who knows how to French. Er, speak French.

Not that I'm disinterested or uninterested in cheering you on. I will undoubtedly buy a copy of your book. Even if there isn't a picture of a hot guy on every page (but if you could swing it...)

Writingin Flow

Dylan Fitzgerald said...

Oh mon dieu...

See, I plan my Oprah interview for my book. I guess that's the difference between us (also, in my fantasy, Jake Gyllenhaal surprises me on set-- oh hello Jake!)

By the way, now I will always remember disinterested vs. uninterested, WHICH will probably come up on my impending GRE. You should get in on the Princeton Review fortune!

Hart Johnson said...

Oh, yeah... very sexy. You know, I pay so little attention, that if I just LOOK at him, I know him as the guy from Alias, where his role is very much sort of underling... He's filled out nicely, eh? (I think though, Alias made use of him being multi-lingual).

I ADORE your book tour plans and am ready for the Grammar Renaissance. What i DID NOT know is that you'd gotten an agent! CONGRATULATIONS!

Shelly said...

The only thing that could be better than going on your own promo tour is going on one with Bradley Cooper and having him translate everything into French for you.

Can't wait to read the book!

Tere Kirkland said...

LOL, hopefully my parents will be neither disinterested or uninterested in my novel.

Kelly said...

You need to get Bradley Cooper to voice the audiobook of Missed Periods!!

the late phoenix said...

oh yeah, the un/disinterested lesson was one of my favorites in school

ah, school, so long ago, the memories are starting to fade

signed,
little person<---remember all the little people when you become famous

Sharyn said...

Whoever dubbed this was very talented!

Seriously, I think I have to go lie down now.

Jeffrey Beesler said...

I totally misread disinterested and thought the sentence used the word disjointed, instead. The eyes can play cruel tricks on the mind sometimes.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

My family was interested enough to purchase my first book, but neither of my parents have read it because they don't like science fiction. Oh well!

Sydney said...

Now i know what's the difference between "disinterested" and "uninterested"!

I will totally buy your book if it gets published x


sydsense.blogspot.com

Crystal Pistol said...

Bradly Cooper can do no wrong. I'm seriously rattled myself.

I agree that you should start considering what you might wear now. It's the most important factor. Image is everything. :) (The book should also be compelling, I suppose. Pft. Details...)

Duncan D. Horne said...

Nice post. Those damn prefixes play havoc with my students!

Duncan In Kuantan

Theresa Milstein said...

I'm glad the excitement of landing an agent hasn't thrown you off your game.

If I ever have a book published, my family will get two copies each. Why only get a gift for a birthday when there's Hanukkah too? This way each person has one to read and one to preserve for when the book is worth millions.

Glynis said...

Mm, delicious video! Merci.

LOL, I have been considering photographers in town for my professional photograph -just in case.

Good luck with your book.

How sad that a family is uninterested. Mine are waiting to read my work, they support me regardless of taste.

Mary Aalgaard said...

You can pull a grammar lesson out of any situation, can't you!?! Loved the punchline at the end. Of course, they'd get your book for Christmas.

James Garcia Jr said...

Jenny, I love Kelly's idea, but guess he wouldn't be able to read your book with you staring at him or attacking the glass in the studio!
When you mentioned your family getting your book for birthdays, were you referring to blood family or blog family? My birthday is in March.
Just sayin'

-Jimmy

notesfromnadir said...

I finally got around to seeing the 1st Hangover. Much as I didn't expect to like it & actually ended up laughing a lot.

It's important to plan your wardrobe before going on a TV show. Good for you!

Lorena said...

J'adore Monsieur Cooper!

Jaya J said...

I know what you mean with the video. Real sexy :)

Rachael said...

Zoolander arrived on Friday, and I'm not ashamed to admit that I ripped it open so excitedly that I sent little bits of packaging all over the kitchen table. Let the ridiculous quoting commence!