Monday, June 27, 2011

We're All Dogs

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Anthony Weiner, Tiger Woods, David Letterman, Jesse James, Bill Clinton, John Edwards, Jon Gosselin, Ryan Philippe, Mel Gibson, Hugh Grant, Ethan Hawke…

If goddess-like Uma Thurman’s husband sleeps with the nanny, the chances of finding a monogamous man seem pretty bleak, don’t they?

Well, cheer up, ladies; it’s not a bad as you think. A new study shows that the gender cheating gap is closing. Women are reportedly cheating almost as much as men.

Isn’t that great news? I love equality! High five LeAnn Rimes! Way to go J.Lo!

All this sleeping around really helps me understand an issue that I’ve been struggling with for quite a while. You see, I’ve always known that mixing up the words lose and loose is a common error. What I could never understand was why we tend to overuse loose. People more often use loose when they should be using lose rather than the other way around.

Now it makes sense. Because everyone is so sexually loose, they are subconsciously expressing it when they write.

Don't give yourself away through your writing. When you use the word loose, make sure you mean one of the following things:

Not tight-fitting:

I had to take off my wedding ring because it was too loose.

Imprecise:

We loosely adhere to our wedding vows.


Promiscuous:

Men and women are equally loose.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to let my husband out of his cage for dinner. In this promiscuous climate, I simply can't risk letting him loose.

21 comments:

Jaya J said...

Women are reportedly cheating almost as much as men.

I agree, and they could :)

Gorilla Bananas said...

I've never understood why people write "loose" instead of "lose", because they're pronounced differently! Perhaps the spelling of "loose" should be changed to "luce". This cheating stuff is driven by biology - I bet 90% of women who cheat are ovulating.

Theresa Milstein said...

I have seen the loose/lose switch. And adding the extra "o" doesn't seem to make sense.

Know what else doesn't make sense? That women are closing the promiscuous gap. I guess it used to be one women slept with bunch of cheating guys (to keep the women's #'s down). Have these women gotten pickier, forcing men to look elsewhere? It should be one man, one woman. But these questions are more math than grammar related.

Or does it not count as being a cheater if you're the mistress? Technically you're not cheating on anyone.

It's too early. I'm going back to bed.

Shelly said...

If you take it one step further, you could include people who confuse loser with looser. In light of that study,though, loser and looser would appear to describe the cheaters.

Shannon said...

Since I used to belong to a weight loss sight, I can agree that the lose/loose mistakes drove me crazy.

Can I make a future suggestion? Can you do something on toward/towards? I find myself second guessing myself every time I write that word.

Dylan Fitzgerald said...

I have to pause and quiz myself on the lose/loose thing semi-frequently. I have to stop and pronounce it. It's a little sad. Then again, I still think about which hand forms the letter L so I know which way to turn so... yeah.

Saw a New Yorker cartoon regarding apostrophe placement and thought of you!
http://www.newyorkerstore.com/2011/i-have-two-mommies-i-know-where-the-apostrophe-goes/invt/137035/

the late phoenix said...

amen, sister, preach!!!

y'know, "looser" is quite the internet meme these days, it's a hot word now down the cyber block

Bethany Elizabeth said...

:) Cute post - I've noticed this a lot lately. It can get a little ridiculous, but I've done it too. Maybe loose just is more enjoyable to type. It's like moose, only...
Okay, I'm stretching it. :)

Meg O. said...

One of my other grammar pet peeves! I cringe when I see "loose" used in place of lose. Love ya, like always.

Beverly Diehl said...

Love the way you tied it together. A subconscious admission of guilt, not simply illet - illitra - people who can't spell.

It's all those loose boy parts to blame!

Clarissa Draper said...

What a funny way to make your point. Now I better get loose before I lose.

Duncan D. Horne said...

As a natural English speaker I don't understand how people can get confused between lose and loose. But as an English teacher, I see it perfectly!

Duncan In Kuantan

Talli Roland said...

I've never understood loose and lose, either. But I'm glad you've now found the explanation!

Janet Johnson said...

LOL! Best not to take chances. :)

MartyrMom said...

I think choice/choose are the funny ones

It was my choice to choose the looser of the 2 losers!! oh hahahaha

notesfromnadir said...

Jon Gosselin -- uh, like, never mind.

Hey, how about associated lose w/ loser?

Stephanie Faris said...

There was some celebrity who said her husband could never get the word "monogamy" right. Definitely a bad sign! I didn't know Uma Thurman's husband was cheating. Is that new? I'm behind on my celebrity gossip!

WalksLikeAnEgyptian said...

Poor Jezza.

How do you feel about preventive vs preventative? I found this pretty interesting:

http://www.grammarist.com/spelling/preventative-preventive/

(Have you ever heard of that site?)

Amie Kaufman said...

See, every time I mock somebody for something like this, I go straight out and make some appalling your/you're mistake, even though I have NO trouble telling the difference!

RosieC said...

Haha. Excellent way to make your point. I love it. Thanks :)

Rosie
East for Green Eyes

Lorena said...

Ok. I'll give it a try: MP, I hope you don't lose your husband after you let him loose.