Out with the Old, In with the New

In my last post, I suggested that perhaps the reason I haven’t had any kids yet has something to do with the fact that my parents never bought me a Cabbage Patch Kid. And, undoubtedly, that has a lot to do with it. But there may actually be more to my procreation hesitation: Giving birth looks REALLY hard. I love sleep. Nine months without wine and sushi!

And then there’s also the ethical question of overpopulation. I live in Orange County. Our freeways are bumper to bumper, our classrooms are overfilled, and the line was out the door this morning at Starbucks. I wouldn’t feel right about adding another mouth to feed.

That is, unless we eliminate some existing mouths.

If we are going to add new people, maybe we should get rid of some. I’m not suggesting we kill them or anything; we could just move them to Wyoming. (Wikipedia says it’s the least populated state.)

Here’s who I would send to Wyoming:

Mel Gibson (I’d actually be doing him a favor.)

The guy who lives in the condo above us who likes to stomp around all night.

Vanessa Paradis (She’s actually quite lovely, but she’s the main obstacle in my quest to marry Johnny Depp.)

Sarah Palin (I’m doing it for the moose.)

I feel the same way about words.

Here are some words that have just officially become members of the English language:

Bromance n. Close platonic male friendship.

Automagically adv. Automatically in a way that seems magical.

Frenemy n. Friend with whom one has frequent conflict.

Staycation n. Vacation spent at home.

Webisode n. Episode or short film made for viewing online.

Tweet n. Posting made on the social networking site Twitter.

Unfriend v. To remove from a list of personal associates on a website.

And, much to my chagrin:

Chillax v. To calm down and relax.

Here are words I would like to trade out:

Chillax

Guesstimate

Ginormous

Wad

Moist

Which words (or people) would you like to see replaced?


References:
Towner, Betsy. “New Words Added to English Dictionaries.” AARP.