Save the Date

I know a lot of you live outside of the state or even out of the country, so I thought I would tell you now so you have ample time to request time off work, get pet sitters, buy a new outfit, and order your gluten-free meal for your flight. I am having my first book signing at my local bookstore, Apostrophe Books, on October 14 from 11:30-1:30.

Isn’t it serendipitous that my first book signing is at a bookstore named after a punctuation mark? And not just any punctuation mark: one of the most troubling punctuation marks. As evidence, I present to you an apostrophe mistake I found in my hood:

This is one of the most common mistakes people make with the apostrophe: they use it when a word ends in S simply to show there is more than one (AKA plural), which does not require an apostrophe: 

Reggae Sundays are aire, mon.

·         We added an S to the end of Sunday because we are talking about more than one Sunday.

·         Nothing actually belongs to the Sunday = no apostrophe

Apostrophes are only required when a word ends in S to show possession. If a singular word is possessive, it gets both an S and an apostrophe: 

This Reggae Sunday’s vibe was aire, mon.

·         We are only referring to one particular Reggae Sunday = singular

·         The vibe belongs to Reggae Sunday = possessive = apostrophe

However, what if we want to refer to the vibe of more than one Reggae Sunday? Well, we simply add the apostrophe after the S. 

The last four Reggae Sundays’ vibes have been aire, mon.

·         We are referring to four Reggae Sundays = plural

·         The vibe belongs to all of those Reggae Sundays = possessive = apostrophe

It just occurred to me that my book signing is on a Sunday, so this Reggae Sunday is my direct competition. In order to compete, I will be performing “No Colon No Cry” and “I Shot the Sheriff, but I Didn’t Use the Apostrophe." 

(If anyone is local, here is the address for Apostrophe Books. It would be so great to actually meet some of you: 4712 E. 2nd Street, Long Beach, CA 90803.)

(That didn't come out right. It would be great to meet ALL of you, but some of you may have a hair appointment that day.)

Grammar Is Important Because ...

It gives the writer/speaker credibility. Without it, they are just incredible. No … wait …that doesn’t sound right.

This is the winning answer to my Why Grammar Is Important Contest, which was provided by the writer of the Felt Family blog.

Her answer is not only hilarious; it’s also inspiring, which, by her logic, means without one of these:

It follows, then, that invent means to be upset about something but hold it in.

Inverse means lack of poetry.

Intense means mellow.

And intreats is the house you don’t want to visit on Halloween.


Also, I have a guest post over at World Weaver Press that discusses the difference between good writing and grammatically correct writing--and where the twain meet. 

What's your definition of good writing?

Summer of Love

I always wished I could have been a young adult during the 1960s. I love 60s fashion, music, and, most of all, I regret not having been able to experience that whole summer of love thing where there was all that free loving.

But I am not one to let go of dreams, so I have made this my summer of love. 

That’s right, you guys, I have totally been blogging around. 

Right now I am with two other bloggers: 

At Kelly Polark’s blog, there's a great picture of me and Bob Dylan, and I reveal how the man considered the best songwriter of all time grammatically undermined our nation.

At Shelly Morales’s blog, La Tejana, I explain why I became such a crazy grammar lady.

And, I’m not ashamed to say that there have been others. MANY OTHERS. Thus far, the following bloggers have been so gracious as to let me post on their blogs in order to promote my book: 

Theresa Milstein at Tales of Teaching Tribulations andTyping Teen Texts

James Garcia Jr. at Dance on Fire

Terra Shield at Raconteur-esque Scribblings

Sara DiVello at Inadvertent Yogini

The Late Phoenix

AND … I even have someone over at my place: E.J. Wesley. His new book sounds amazing:

“Some folks treated the past like an old friend. The memories warmed them with fondness for what was, and hope for what was to come. Not me. When I thought of long ago, my insides curdled, and I was left feeling sour and wasted.”

Jenny Schmidt is a young woman with old heartaches. A small town Texas girl with big city attitude, she just doesn’t fit in. Not that she has ever tried. She wears loneliness like a comfy sweatshirt. By the age of twenty-one, she was the last living member of her immediate family. Or so she thought…

“We found my ‘grandfather’ sitting at his dining room table. An entire scorched pot of coffee dangled from his shaky hand. His skin was the ashen gray shade of thunderclouds, not the rich mocha from the photo I’d seen. There were dark blue circles under each swollen red eye. A halo of white hair skirted his bald head, a crown of tangles and mats. Corpses had more life in them.”

Suddenly, instead of burying her history with the dead, Jenny is forced to confront the past. Armed only with an ancient family journal, her rifle, and an Apache tomahawk, she must save her grandfather’s life and embrace her dangerous heritage. Or be devoured by it.

BLOOD FUGUE by E.J. Wesley, is the first of the MOONSONGS books, a series of paranormal-action novelettes. At fewer than 13k words, BLOOD FUGUE is the perfect snack for adventurous readers who aren’t afraid of stories with bite. Available wherever fine eBooks are sold September 2012. 

And look at the beautiful cover:

It’s a total blorgy (blog orgy)!

P.S. Winner for my Why Grammar Is Important Give-Away will be announced next week. Click here if you'd like to vote.

You Be the Judge

Earlier this week—or was it last week?—I held a give-away that asked readers to leave a comment explaining why grammar was important, and the winner would receive a copy of the next New York Times bestseller, Missed Periods and Other Grammar Scares. (The New York Times bestseller The Secret told me that if I just put that out into the universe it would happen, so bestseller, bestseller, bestseller.) 

I received many wonderful responses, and when it came time to pick a winner, I simply couldn’t decide. I’m horrible at making decisions, and it started to stress me out, and I’m trying to avoid stress at all costs because I heard it gives you wrinkles. So I asked my librarian to choose his top three, which he did, and then I thought I would present them to you and let you choose the winner by including your selection in the comments section. 

I, hereby, present to you the finalists of the Why Grammar Is Important Contest:

A.      Shelly

Proper grammar is as important as pure air, clean water, and cute shoes. Without proper grammar, the world tilts ever so slightly off its axis, rendering everything else out of kilter.

B.      Felt Family

Proper grammar is important because it gives the writer/speaker credibility. Without it, they are just incredible. No … wait …that doesn’t sound right.

C.      Talli Roland

It’s important so you can identify a man who knows how to spell, since the ability to spell correctly is also linked to dexterity in the bedroom.

Oh, and then I added this one: 

D.      Stephen T. McCarthy

Proper grammar is important because Jenny Baranick says so.

Let the games begin!

What Not to Wear

Yesterday, one of my favorite fashion blogs, Go Fug Yourself, made a point that will come in handy for me. They showed the above picture of Kristen Bell being interviewed by Jay Leno, and they accompanied it with this advice: “Somebody needed to tell her to practice sitting and chatting so they could spot-check the problem areas."

Because this is what happened:

So now I know that before I am interviewed by Oprah or Ellen or Jon Stewart(Pleeeaaaase!) I need to test drive my outfits. 

Or … I could just do blog interviews. 

James Garcia Jr. interviewed me on his fabulous blog Dance on Fire, and since he simply sent me interview questions via email, I didn’t have to worry about whether or not I was flashing some underboob.

Will you come check out the interview? It’s my first one since becoming a published author!

Fifty Shades of Grammar

One of my favorite bloggers, Theresa Milstein, has graciously allowed me to guest post on her wonderful blog Theresa's Tales of Teaching Tribulations and Typing Teen Texts.

Swing by and experience the rare meeting of erotic literature and grammar in my Fifty Shades of Grammar quiz.

Dirty Dozen

I just received an email from Sara of the blog The Inadvertent Yogini (which is featuring a guest blog from me about the relationship between punctuation and yoga—my two passions). She said there are only twelve copies of Missed Periods and Other Grammar Scares left on Amazon. That’s exciting, right? Well, unless they only started out with twenty copies in stock. But I have decided that they started out with three million, so it’s AMAZING!

I am so giddy today. I just want to give away more copies of my book. 

If you want one, and you are not Janette Dolores, whose name I just picked out of a hat as the winner of my last contest (well, not a hat—a random basket that was in the closet in the library), then all you have to do is buy the last twelve copies. 

Just kidding. All you have to do to be entered in the contest is tell me in the comments section why you think proper grammar is important. And if you don’t think it’s important, lie. 

And then if you have time, check out my guest post on Sara’s blog. (There’s a pic of me doing a headstand.) 

And if you have even more time, will you post about the release of my book on Facebook and Twitter? 


And if you have even more time after that, take some time out for yourself--you deserve it.