Showing posts with label commonly confused phrases. Show all posts
Showing posts with label commonly confused phrases. Show all posts

Friday, April 2, 2010

Better Than Nothing

If you’re not going to do it right, don’t do it at all.

Those are words I definitely do not live by.

When I vacuum, I don’t move couches. I rarely leave the conditioner in my hair for the prescribed time. I don’t chew my food thirty-two times.

But, you know, I do clean the house, wash my hair and eat, so I think it’s better than nothing.

Better than nothing, that’s my philosophy.

Well, another thing that most of us don’t do right is respond to statements like this:

Drinking one glass of red wine a night is supposedly good for the heart, but I never do.

If we didn’t drink one glass of red wine a night either, the right response would be

Nor do I.

But, we rarely speak so formally. My response, for example, would be

Me neither; I usually drink three.

The question that has come up is whether we say me neither or me either.

Well, both are technically wrong, but if you feel too formal writing nor do I, then me neither is the lesser of the two evils.

Speaking of the lesser of two evils, that’s another philosophy I live by:

At least I didn’t buy two pairs of new shoes.
I ate the smaller piece of cheesecake.
I could have worn low cut and short.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Happy Valentine's Day

Bathsheba: David, guess what's coming up?

David: Is it the anniversary of when I beat the g
iant Goliath with nothing but this chiseled physique and slingshot slung casually over my shoulder?

Bathsheba: No

David: Then, it must be the anniversary of when I was anointed king over Israel?

Bathsheba: No

David: The first day of the Winter Olympics?

Bathsheba: No, David. Sunday is Valentine’s Day. It’s as though after 3,000 years you have started to take me for granted.

David: How could I take you for granite? You’re not even made out of rock; you’re oil on canvas.

Bathsheba: It’s not granite, David, it’s granted- G-R-A-N-T-E-D. The saying is take for granted.

David: Are you sure? For all intensive purposes, I'll take that with a great assault.

Bathsheba: It's intents and purposes and grain of....oh, never mind.