Freedom, I Won't Let You Down

I was at a wedding last weekend, and the best man’s speech reminded me of something: I haven’t been really drunk for a while. Sure, I have a couple of glasses of wine here and a gin and tonic there, but it has been a long time since I was in the best man’s state of inebriation: stumbling, glassy-eyed, repeating myself, professing my love to everyone.

College, of course, was a different story: I downed bottles of Boone’s Strawberry Hill, vomited out car windows, and...actually, I’ll just keep that story to myself. I guess we all go a little crazy at first with our newfound freedoms, but then after one too many hangovers, we learn to embrace hydration and moderation.

I am actually still in the process of learning moderation with one newfound freedom: the ability to start a sentence with and or but. I always thought it was a grammar no-no to start a sentence with and or but, but I’ve been reading up on this stuff, and apparently it’s just another urban legend.

According to this article, starting a sentence with and or but can be useful for the following reasons:

• It maintains an easy, conversational style.
• It preserves a link between sentences, whilst still delivering in a short, punchy vein.
• It reduces the need for long, wordy compound sentences.

As soon as I heard this, I went a little crazy with it. It might not seem that way to you as you read this, but that’s because Emily proofreads this and makes me delete most of them.

My liver wishes it could have had Emily around to delete some of my past excesses.

References:
http://languagestyle.suite101.com/article.cfm/grammar_starting_a_sentence_with_or_and_or_but

It's Good to be Queen

Gretchen: Regina, you're wearing sweatpants. It's Monday.
Regina: So...?
Karen: So that's against the rules, and you can't sit with us.
Regina: Whatever. Those rules aren't real.
Karen: They were real that day I wore a vest!
Regina: Because that vest was disgusting!

Regina George is not the only person who established arbitrary rules and then proceeded to break them. So did this guy:

(No, his rule was not that one must not fashion one’s hairdo after a poodle.)

This, Ladies and Gentlemen, is Robert Lowth, the guy who’s responsible for the rule against ending a sentence with a preposition.

A preposition is a part of speech that indicates the relationship, usually spatial or temporal, of one word to another. Some common examples are:

at, by, for, into, off, on, out, over, to, under, up, with

And, then look what he goes and writes:

"This is an idiom which our language is strongly inclined to.”

That’s right- he ended a sentence with a preposition. It’s kind of like when Rush Limbaugh said, “If people are violating the law by doing drugs, they ought to be accused and they ought to be convicted and they ought to be sent up.”

So, what’s the deal? Should we say no to ending a sentence with a preposition?

The consensus is not necessarily, but we must use judgment.

Here are some sentences that sound fine with a preposition at the end:

Did you see that vest she had on?
Take that vest off!
At least put on this jacket to cover it up!

But, here are some that sound sloppy:

What are you wearing that ugly vest for?
Where did you get that horrible vest at?

The first one should be rewritten:

Why are you wearing that ugly vest?

The second one should just drop the at because it’s unnecessary:

Where did you get that horrible vest?

I'm assumng this is the vest:

It kinds of reminds me of Robert Lowth's hair.

References:

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/ending-prepositions.aspx
http://www.grammarphobia.com/grammar.html
http://www.encyclopedia.com/doc/1O29-LOWTHRobert.html

Faux Faux Pas

When we think fashion faux pas, we think white after Labor Day, socks with sandals, and fanny packs.

When we think relationship faux pas, we think dating a friend’s ex and having sex with heavily tattooed women with Nazi fetishes on your couch whilst married to an Oscar-winning actress.

And, apparently, when we think grammar faux pas, we think split infinitive.

I was alerted to the split infinitive as thee quintessential grammar error only after I had begun teaching. When people find out my profession, they often admit woefully to their habit of splitting infinitives.

To avoid getting too technical, an infinitive is the to form of a verb:

In Europe, it’s considered a faux pas to ask about one's personal wealth, possessions or success in business.

And, a split infinitive is when you split the infinitive with an adverb:

In America, it’s customary to only ask those things.

To be honest, like wearing white after Labor Day, I never really understood why the split infinitive was such a big deal. But, to preserve my grammatical reputation, I would agree: “Yeah, those damn split infinitives!”

Well, it turns out I was right. About both. Apparently, it’s acceptable to wear white after Labor Day and to split infinitives.

What would really be convenient is if the fanny pack could be considered acceptable. Imagine how nice it would be to not have to lug around a purse. LV and Rhi Rhi have given it a go.

What do you think?