It was 8am, and I heard my door bell ring. I would love to say I had been up for an hour and was just finishing the last ten minutes of my Thigh Master routine, but the truth is I was fast asleep. I’ve been sleeping in a lot lately—like for the past thirty plus years.
The door bell had been rung by the maintenance guy at my apartment complex. He told me that someone had hit my car and shattered my tail light. It was a hit and run!
Who could it have been? Who would shatter the tail light of a poor, innocent grammarmobile in the dead of night and just take off? It had to be someone who hates grammar.
So I did some investigating, and I came across an article about the celebrities with the worst grammar on Twitter.I narrowed it down, and I came to the conclusion that it must have been Jessica Alba.
She has always been jealous of my looks.