Saturday, September 21, 2013

Matters of Size



I just finished posting a couch on Craigslist. So if anyone needs a beautiful three-piece sofa set in excellent condition …

I’m kidding. I’m kidding. I would not use my grammar blog to try to sell you something. (Did I mention it’s in excellent condition?) 

I bring up my Craigslist experience merely as a way to share something grammatical. Actually, I am not sure it’s technically grammatical, but if not, it’s grammar-adjacent.

As I mentioned, I was posting the sofa set, and, since I like to be thorough, I decided to include the dimensions of the set. And as I was typing them up, I realized that I wasn’t sure if inches are represented by ‘ or “. So I Googled it, and I found that inches are represented by “. And then I thought to myself, “What if the zombie invasion happens and Wi-Fi is down and Google isn’t available and I need to know how to represent inches?”

At that moment, I realized I needed a way to remember what I had just learned. So here’s what I came up with. One of the most common ways to belittle men is to make fun of their penises, right? And isn’t two inches the go-to number? So if we remember that, then we can remember that inches are represented by two apostrophes. 

Who has a way to remember that feet are represented by one apostrophe?

12 comments:

Amalie said...

You'd think remembering one little thing wouldn't be such a feat?

Shelly said...

Bwahahaha!!!

Jono said...

Working in a lumber yard I know about inches. Remember that there is only one foot at the end of each leg. If you want to belittle men you will find that pointing and laughing is also very effective.

James Garcia Jr. said...

Hmm? That's hitting a "little" below the belt, don't you think? ;)
How have you been, my friend? I haven't been here in a while. *slaps hand* Hope you and yours are well. How's the new school year treating you? Have a great week!

-Jimmy

susie said...

I have never had a problem remembering this fun fact. My husband can't keep track of T. And t. (for tablespoon and teaspoon.)

DiscConnected said...

Wow, really?

You're going right for a penis joke?

Of course you're showing an Obama picture, so if you're making fun of him....

...nope-I still think he's got too much else of substance to mock.

Larry

Kelly Polark said...

Ha ha ha! Love it!

I just put a signed electric guitar on Craig's list. Don't know the size of the musician that signed it though!

Romance Book Haven said...

Hehehe! Lol! What a way to remember!

Nas

the late phoenix said...

mnemonics are fun, huh?

DWei said...

Unrelated, but congrats! Your book is kind of viral on one of the largest websites online:

http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/1nbpsm/clever/

traci's mixed bag said...

You would be proud of me, I googled the proper way to use punctuation within and outside of parenthesis. I'm not master of grammar but well on my way. lol Good luck unloading the sofa. Hopefully a buyer will be super impressed by the accuracy of your dimensions.

Theresa Milstein said...

Something for Missed Periods and Other Grammar Scares Book 2.