Tuesday, June 11, 2013

This Is Not 'Nam. This Is Bowling. There Are Rules.

You never know where life will take you. For example, some friends and I joined a bowling league last night. I never really envisioned a bowling league would be part of my life. A book club, maybe. A ceramics class, perhaps. But never a bowling league. 

I did learn a lot about myself, though. Well, I guess learn is the wrong word. I confirmed something about myself that I’ve always suspected: I am a terrible bowler. I consistently got the lowest score. I threw the ball the wrong way (and scared the shit out of this poor guy, which was actually pretty funny). And on my last game, when I had 97 points at the end of the ninth frame, I exclaimed in excitement, “I’m actually going to break 100,” and then I bowled two gutter balls.

When I am feeling down on myself for my lack of prowess, my favorite thing to do is bring attention to others’ shortcomings. And who better to pick on than an organization that dedicates itself to helping the youth?

I saw this sign a Starbucks today advertising the Boys and Girls Club’s tutoring program:


It says they have tutoring everyday. What they actually meant was that they have tutoring every day

(Maybe don't enroll in the English tutoring.)

We use everyday when we mean daily or commonplace.

Example: This hot pink bowling ball with fluorescent green flames is my everyday bowling ball.

We use every day when we mean each day.

Example: I am going to practice bowling every day

(At least until I throw the ball the right way 65% of the time.)



12 comments:

Stacy McKitrick said...

I'm guessing they aren't tutoring EVERY DAY, either. Maybe it should have said every school day? Hmmm...

Maybe you'll break that 100 next week. You'll have to let us know!

E.J. Wesley said...

Maybe they just think their tutoring program is average and got the words rearranged?

"We have everyday, ordinary tutoring!" :)

And good for you for taking on something you know you're not going to excel at initially! I tend to learn the most from the things I suck at the most, so I always try new things.

How I got into writing. :)

the late phoenix said...

I wear my everyday hot-pink bowling shirt every day 'cause I'm the Dude.

bowling is a lot like basketball: there's a ball, it's a game.

last time I seriously bowled: high school

last time with the neon balls and gutter-blockers: probably last week

Shelly said...

I had to give up bowling because it was too hard on my nails. I think 97 is a respectable score~

DiscConnected said...

Although you may not bowl every day, you sound like an everyday bowler....

97 doesn't sound so bad for the first night...

Jeffrey Beesler said...

I always aim for the gutter myself, but instead I keep knocking over all those poor pins whose only function is to stand there and look pretty.

traci's mixed bag said...

Great lesson. I want to put the words "every day" together, almost every day in my everyday writing.

I sure hope I did that right ;-/ he he

I think it's fun that you are bowling even though it's not your forte.

My favorite part of the Big Lebowski has nothing to do with bowling. It's when Maude and Dude are watching the porn and she says "This story's ludicrous."

j.m. neeb said...

I'm always happy if I break 100. 97 is close enough to be frustrating, though. I think I'd rather just bowl an 80.

Hope you had fun! (I'm guessing that is your motivation for playing, and not to hone your skills in hope of a new career...)

susie said...

I used to sub for a bowling league at work. They said they liked my handicap. I never really understood what that meant. I never broke 100.

The Sisterhood said...

"When I am feeling down on myself for my lack of prowess, my favorite thing to do is bring attention to others’ shortcomings." What a coincidence! This is my favorite feel-better move, too.

Good luck with bowling: hope your thumb survives it better than mine did. I don't even have nails (well, long ones), and bowling still wrecked my thumbnail. What there is of it.

Very funny post! And so true. I think about these things everyday. :D

Theresa Milstein said...

I need to bookmark this post because I've confused this one. I shouldn't be tutoring English either.

Try Wii Bowling. I'm a terrible regular bowler, but an excellent Wii bowler. And think my mii is cuter.

As bad as I am, I don't think I've ever scared anyone before. The two gutter balls part is pretty funny!

Holly Vance said...

Had me at Big Lebowski!