Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Sluts and Twats and C!#ts, Oh My!

“What does it say about the college co-ed Sandra Fluke,” pondered Rush Limbaugh, “who goes before a congressional committee and essentially says that she must be paid to have sex – what does that make her?”

(Translation from Limbaughnese to English: Paid to have sex = believes insurance companies should cover birth control.)

Rush concluded, “It makes her a slut, right? It makes her a prostitute.”

As many of us know, this conclusion has resulted in a Rush Limbaugh backlash that has cost him at least twenty advertisers.

Some, however, believe the Rush Limbaugh backlash is unfair because left-wing media personalities have gotten away with equally misogynistic remarks unscathed. For example, apparently Bill Maher called Sarah Palin a “dumb twat” and the word that starts C with and rhymes with “runt.”

If you agree that Rush is being targeted unfairly, then you probably also sympathize with the word assume. The practice of assuming gets a bad rap because it involves making a conclusion without having proof. And I agree that assuming can, in fact, make asses out of people—like that time I incorrectly assumed a woman was pregnant. (From now on, I won’t mention the word pregnant unless a woman’s water breaks right in front of me.)

However, if we are going to give assume a hard time, shouldn’t we also have a problem with presume.

The definition of presume is “to take for granted, assume, or suppose.”

In fact, English language expert Bill Bryson says, “Assume, in the sense of 'to suppose', normally means to put forth a realistic hypothesis, something that can be taken as probable … Presume has more of an air of sticking one's neck out, of making an assertion that may be arguable or wrong."

So did Limbaugh assume or presume that Fluke was a slut?

Did Maher assume or presume that Palin was a dumb twat?

Am I assuming or presuming that the answers you provide to the two previous questions will give me insight into your political views?


Shelly said...

That was a wickedly delightful segue into today's grammar lesson!

Mark said...

I actually didn't know that's what he had done. I knew he had gotten into trouble though. I think both of them were presuming. Though there are more than likely girls who want insurance to cover birth control because they are promiscuous (that's an assumption) doesn't mean they all are. Rush might have gone a bit too far, but he's generally accepted to be a dick and everyone jumps on him every chance they can get. At least this time he kind of earned it.

DiscConnected said...

"From now on, I won’t mention the word pregnant unless a woman’s water breaks right in front of me"

I will never forget watching a co-worker ask another when the baby was due, and she said very quietly, "I'm not pregnant."

You are braver than I-I wait until the kid is in preschool!


DiscConnected said...

I do think in some ways there are two sets of rules for the left andd the right, but Rush does bring it on himself.

As funny as I thought he was, I stopped watching Bill Maher because of his "left good, right evil" mantra.

Rush had a point-why would contraception be a taxpayer funded event?

Where in the Consitution does it say the Federal government will wrap the appendage that does most of a man's thinking?

Great intro-I presume you are not a fan of Rush Limbaugh but assume you would agree that calling Sarah Palin the word that rhymes with the title of Todd Rundgren's first solo album is foul play... mateer how you view her politics.


Stephen T. McCarthy said...

>>..."I incorrectly assumed a woman was pregnant. (From now on, I won’t mention the word pregnant unless a woman’s water breaks right in front of me.)"

I made that mistake TWICE! (But NOT with the same woman.)

Once, while speaking, I added the expression, " your condition", only to find out later that her condition was simply one of "overweight".

The other time, a guy showed me a photograph of his sweetheart and (making an "ass" of "me") I asked if she was "expecting".

Now, I just run as fast and as far as I can every time I see a woman with a bulging waistline.

Uhp! I'm an idiot! But I ain't gonna swing at "Strike Three!"

~ D-FensDogg
'Loyal American Underground'

Jaya J said...

once i presumed that this big someone was dead.
my careless presumption left a temporary mark on his company shares. yikes.

boneman said...

Well, maybe neither for either. (sorry...couldn't avoid doing that)

I have a feeling BOTH used their words in a way to incite laughter.
One as in comedy, Maher, who has respect for women ten times over Limbaugh. His statement is crafted to elicit laughter, but, also to put out an opinion.
Sarah Palin has done so much to shoot herself in the foot, and even though sporting that AR-15, still couldn't get the job done, so, Maher simply pulled out a derringer and popped her toes.
I don't believe in using negative comments against just anybody, however. Palin has has about as many terrible statements as anyone I have ever heard, save Dick Cheney. Consider how she emphatically states the Obama health care plan as having "death panels" where supposedly doctors can have us euthanized?
In the first place, thanks
to incidents like Terry Schiavo, the idea of a LIFE WILL is now understood as being important.
Now, if one would think that she was just putting bad spin on health care?
Then finding out that she went to Canada for their Universal Health care pretty much brings THAT argument to an end.
Dang that guy is all about the modern Rickles, but, honestly, I don't think he's THAT funny.

Limbaugh went for the lauhs, too, only his sense of comedy is mired by his personal aggenda.
With NO respect for women whatsoever, he plows through a person'slife like a bulldozer, slandering her with this claptrap comment, and it was totally uncalled for.
His agenda, as always, is screw the Democrats and anything they like. If he sees non-partisanship, he calls it that the Democrats are finally coming across to the rioght side.
His attack on Fluke was nothing shy of slanderous, and he may YET have lawyers hunting him down for a piece of his... er... cigars?
Oh, the sponsors have shied away, alright, and it would be nice if that were the end of it.
Too bad that sponsors also recognize that conlict is newsworthy (not really, but, they think so) and that newsworthy means crowds.
You know...if advertisers could, they would put up temporary billboards up around lethal car accidents.
Or...perhaps I'm assuming that?
(probably not. They just don't know where the accidents will be, or they would. No doubt about it.)

So, I realize I'm taking a big chance using that many words around an English teacher. Feel free to pop open the red pen and have your way with it.
(I've seen a LOT of red ink prior to my college Writing class)
But, two points, please before you start.
I make up words, on occasion, usually for comedy purposes.
Meither. A way to write "Me either"

and I have large hands, and the keypad is a standard size. So sometimes thwere's a "W" where it shouldn't be and sometrimes there's a yopu where it shouldn't be.
I DO go back and correct too many (or delete my comment, one) however here, I have left in the normal mistakes in this paragraph for demonstration purposes only.
Don't try this at home, boys and girls, unless you have an English teacher with a ruler in hand watching each and every semicolon and comma.


boneman said...

too many words, to many mistakes, I'll take an F and not whine about it.

Theresa Milstein said...

You're a genius because you can turn anything and everything into a grammar lesson.

JDC said...

I would assume I would answer this incorrectly.

MartyrMom said...

are you the one who winked at me and said "come on now... when are you due?"

I've always taken issue with slut, whore, prostitute. I think you've read my blog

yeah yeah.....

and to Larry who said "Rush had a point-why would contraception be a taxpayer funded event?

Where in the Consitution does it say the Federal government will wrap the appendage that does most of a man's thinking?"

why not??? I'd rather pay for the contraception than the child for 18 or more years

and Captain??? does assume the position have anything really to do with assuming???

Dylan Fitzgerald said...

I think they both presume, but I guess it depends on whose presumptions you yourself lean towards (if you'll forgive my sentence's ending in a preposition). If I had to choose, I'd presume along the lines of Bill Maher, but I feel safe making the assumption that they're both asses. Can we call a moratorium on name-calling?

Here's a question: someone who presumes can be said to be presumptuous. Is someone who assumes then by equal measure assumtuous? That sounds like a Beyonce single...

Stephen T. McCarthy said...


You wrote the following:

>>...and to Larry who said "Rush had a point-why would contraception be a taxpayer funded event? Where in the Consitution does it say the Federal government will wrap the appendage that does most of a man's thinking?"

why not??? I'd rather pay for the contraception than the child for 18 or more years

Why not? I think it was perfectly clear "why not". For the very, exact, precise reason that Larry raised: IT'S NOT IN THE CONSTITUTION!

The Constitution... uh, you know, like that official document that refers to itself as "the supreme law of the land", that document that actually DEFINES, in very exacting terms just what it is that makes America "American"?

That's why not!

Larry wasn't asking you for your opinion; he wasn't asking why YOU think your idea is superior to the "supreme law of the land". He merely asked WHERE in the law (the law that the states and the federal government agreed to abide by, once upon a time) does it say that taxpayers should foot the bill for the contraception devices of other persons?

Apparently most "Americans" agree with George W. Bush: The Constitution is just a G#d-damned piece of paper!

~ D-FensDogg
'Loyal American Underground'

Terra Shield said...

Ha ha... loved this. Thankfully, I've been using them correctly all this while despite being really bad at grammar :)

Wendy Ramer said...

Limbaugh didn't assume or presume anything. Instead, he craftily twisted her words to suit his political agenda. And yes, from that you can assume what you deem as probable about my political persuasion :-)

StephanieC said...

They are both asses in terms of the labels they use for women, without thinking of the implications.

Also? Forty pounds ago someone asked me if I was pregnat. At the gym. And I'm 5'8" and didn't look pregnant.


anthony stemke said...

You are definately the queen of grammar.

Crystal Pistol said...

Shelly was right about this post being "wickedly delightful". Very clever, as ever.

Old white men ought to quit making stupid comments in the media. Not nice. They are just not nice!

DWei said...

I really don't care for what reason Limbaugh is getting bashed for. I really dislike the guy and I hope this trend of things continue.

James Garcia Jr. said...

Oh, my! Hi, Jenny! *waves*
I like Rush, but don't like it at all when either he or others think that they can say and do whatever they darn well please. Perhaps he's spent entirely too much time behind that golden EIB microphone, as he calls it, sheltered from the world and treated as if he is some god there. On the other side of the spectrum, I used to like Howard Stern, too. That was until he went well past PG-13 material and headed for parts well beyond, such as using words that you chose to only hint at.
Thanks for sharing, my friend. Have a great week!


Anonymous said...

I am in love with this blog- my answers are as follows- Limbaugh assumed Fluke was a slut but Maher presumed Palin was a dumb twat...because well...oh nevermind ;)