Friday, November 26, 2010

Waistline by the Wayside

When I got home from teaching Wednesday night, I curled up on my bed in fetal position for a good twenty minutes. That’s how wrecked I was after trying to teach three hours of capitalization rules and the value of concise sentences to students who had visions of turkey dancing in their heads.

After unsuccessfully trying to win my students over with promises of knowledge and better writing skills, I resorted to bribery: if they merely pretended to be interested in the next lesson, I promised to let them out fifteen minutes early. Even that only kind of worked. Midway through the next lesson, a student randomly asked me, “What are you doing for Thanksgiving, Ms. Baranick?”

It was even obvious from the typos in their most recent essays that they had Thanksgiving on the mind.

One student, when writing about three changes she plans on making in her life, was obviously subconsciously contemplating the effects of the delicious food she would be consuming the next day:

I plan on letting the trivial things in my life fall by the waistline.

I like how this one thinks. I’m all for letting my waistline fall by the wayside on Thanksgiving too.

12 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

Well, if they fall by the waistline without actually touching it she can't be excessively fat, which is something to be thankful for. You could always ask her for exercise tips in return for correcting her English.

Joanna St. James said...

poor thing this is a serious case of turkey on the mind, don't worry Santa Claus is going to come and fix that ailment soon.

soft nonsense said...

I should think that student deserves extra credit, if for no other reason than being realistic.

Meg O. said...

We get a week off and I couldn't get the kids to focus the Monday before break!

I agree with the above commenter - she deserves extra credit. She speaks the truth.

The Shanner of Attention said...

She deserves an A+ for coming up with a witty blog title! :)

Wendy Ramer said...

Teaching the English language is certainly a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it...and looks like we're it. Hope your T-giving Day was marvelous!

Amanda Sablan said...

Fall by the waistline, haha, that's awesome! She's on to something. ;o

But for me, there was no turkey on my mind. Only pies...

kathryn said...

Well when it relates to Thanksgiving, I think that student was right on the money! And I honestly doubt that a boy would have come up with the same line...you know? Don't you loooove being a girl?

Georgina Dollface said...

First off, thank you for posting a photo of my favourite scenes from 'Friends'.
Mixed metaphors always crack me up. In one fell swoop they scream, "I'm trying to be sophisticated and au currant, but I really have no idea what I am talking about!" - G

Hart Johnson said...

teehee--love these slips that come out in typing, as well as talking.

I figure my waistline is just going to get easier to see from here until Christmas...

HulaBuns said...

LOL! Thank goodness you're able to find the humor in mistakes like this. I'm trying to not let my waistline fall by the wayside this holiday season, but all the delicious food makes it difficult. ;)

Theresa Milstein said...

This time of the year is terrible on the waistline. Good thing she knows this at a young age!

Sorry your bribery backfired.