Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Hasn't Changed a Bit

A raw food diet?

The love of a man fifteen years her junior?

Having done it with the star of Die Hard?

Austrian leech therapy?

I will have sex with Bruce Willis while covered in leeches and eating a carrot and then marry a nineteen year old if I get to look like Demi Moore when I’m pushing fifty.

She claims to not have had any plastic surgery, and I kind of believe her. She doesn’t have the weird lips and pulled skin that other celebrities her age, like Courtney Cox and Meg Ryan, now have.

Because Demi Moore looks the same today as she did fifteen years ago, she reminds me a lot of the word read. It too looks the same in the present as it does in the past:

Present: I read every day.

Past: Yesterday, I read that Demi Moore uses leeches to detoxify her blood.

People often think that lead, like read, is the same in the past as it is in the present. But, they’re wrong. Lead gains an extra letter in the present that it didn’t have in the past:

Present: Please, lead me to your fountain of youth.

Past: Ghost was great, but you were led astray when you decided to star in Striptease.

Lead is more like Pamela Anderson than Demi Moore. Like lead, Pamela presently has a little something extra that she didn’t have in the past:

11 comments:

Meg O. said...

You're right. I kind of believe her, too. And I think the use of read/lead/led is brilliant.

Amanda Sablan said...

I agree, Demi does look pretty au naturel to me (well, except for the makeup). Haven't watched Striptease but only because I heard it was crappy.

Weird about read/lead. Now who decided that?

Theresa Milstein said...

Do you use this lesson in class? You'd be very popular if you did, especially with the boys!

When Demi came back into the spotlight for Charlie's Angels, there were rumors she'd had her knees done. Imagine? How would they do it? I don't think I want to know.

Boonie S said...

The thought of sex with Bruce Willis, and references to Demi Moore, Courtney Cox, Meg Ryan, and Pamela "Gigantic Jugs" Anderson have rather derailed my concentration.
What actually was it that you were saying?
Great post!

Have a nice day, Boonie

Georgina Dollface said...

I caught myself making this same mistake just a few days ago and nicked it before it went to print. At least I know now that it is a common mistake. D'oh! - G

the eternal list said...

isn't "raw food diet" slang for crack cocaine?

Hart Johnson said...

Yeah, I believe her too... and damn her for looking so good. The raw food thing and leeches though, I am not willing to do. I think I will take my crows feet so I can enjoy my cocktails and an occasional slice of pizza with processed meat on it.

Mary Aalgaard said...

Interesting what you find to use for your explanations.

Carolyn Abiad said...

Hmmm...my before and after picture don't resemble either. Unfortunately, my extra bits didn't make it to any useful places.

Ricky said...

Excellent comparison.

DEZMOND said...

what do you mean Demi never had plastic surgery when it's a widely known fact in Hollywood that she has spent around $500,000 on plastic surgeries, bottox, expensive cosmetic treatments... And she admitted it many times in interviews that she has an obsession with anti-aging treatments.